「page 604」
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This one
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Another limousine swung by Atienna’s ‘house’ the following day. There were only two occupants inside of the vehicle—a vaguely familiar driver and one very familiar passenger whom Atienna had been somewhat expecting to see some time, somewhere, someplace on a day in which she’d encounter Maria or Jericho.
“Please get in,” Conta said. “I’m here to take you to your meeting with Maria. My name is Conta.”
Conta’s mousy brown hair was put up in a peculiar updo that Atienna could only describe as a ‘hill on top of a hill’. Coiled earrings that vaguely reminded Atienna of snakes dangled from her ears. Hanging from her neck was a pendant she thought was in the shape of Monadism’s symbol. Upon closer inspection, however, she realized it was merely a hollow O-shape.
Atienna quietly entered the vehicle which took off shortly.
This wasn’t too cautious of her, was it? She was being rather forward with lowering her guard, wasn’t she? Stepping into unknown limousine after limousine like this.
Conta smiled briefly at her before sifting through a manilla folder on her lap. Atienna tried to glimpse into the contents of that folder but only managed to see the words ‘1 tree disruption’ and ‘protests at the border’ before Conta crossed her legs and propped the folder up so it was no longer visible.
Atienna smiled tightly back before reaching into her own bag—the one gifted to her by Cadence—and pulling out her notebook. She flipped through it, scanned her notes chock full of hypotheses and theories, half-formed and rather questionable. Still, she thought—
Francis was stripped of Theta to a certain degree. The fact that he had a romance with Charite—rather, Omicron—was an aspect of Theta that lingered. Atienna had wondered exactly how other ELPIS Leaders were integrated into this world—if they were integrated. Would they present as their true selves or their pre-initiated selves or perhaps even… their Mathites selves? Well, labeling their initiated selves as the ‘true’ version seemed a bit callous towards the people they were before. What iteration was ‘truer’ than the other in this place… did that fall to the perspective of whoever was designing this place?
Then again, every ‘integrated’ person Atienna had encountered here was nothing like the version of the person she knew. However, there was nuance. She knew there was nuance. The patterns. The way people were different—there was something there. There had to be.
All of these theories—not even—however, were based on the assumption that there was an orchestrator—a shadow caster—to this place—to this cave. It was an assumption she had to hold onto. A choice, Scorpio would most likely chide her for.
“…lost in thought.”
Atienna looked up from her notepad.
“You seem lost in thought,” Conta repeated. She had put away her manilla folders and papers into a small briefcase and now regarded Atienna with a pleasant yet somewhat shy smile. “Is everything alright?”
Atienna had never seen Conta in person herself. Although Atienna felt a warmth towards her through her own connection with Maria, Atienna never had been able to fully dissect the complicated relationship between the two. Their relationship hadn’t ever been complicated in Maria’s point of view—which actually quite complicated it.
“Ah, yes,” Atienna replied with an apologetic smile. She closed her notebook and put it aside. “I’m sorry. I’m just making sure I don’t forget anything else. I truly am sorry for missing my meeting with Maria.”
Conta chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry about it. It happens. You’re taking just as much time out of your day for this as Maria is.”
Atienna thought for a moment before she asked, “And may I ask… what your relation to Maria is?”
“Of course. I’m Maria’s personal assistant,” Conta replied. “Like a secretary but a bit more than that.”
Atienna nodded. “And—I hate to keep asking all these questions but—what kind of person is Maria?” More like—what kind of person do you think Maria is?
Conta’s brows rose in surprise. “Sorry… but do you not remember?”
“Oh, Maria is a very hard person to forget, but I just wanted to make sure I didn’t forget any important details,” Atienna clarified, half-lied.
“Oh, well…” Conta brightened. “Maria’s a wonderful person. She’s a great guidance officer, and she always tries to understand the people she’s serving. I can’t see anyone else being the chief guidance officer besides her.”
Conta appeared to be leaning more towards ‘Conta’ rather than ‘Beta.’ That was two instances: more like Francis and more like Conta. But why? And did it matter why?
Maria’s crew… Morandi—would he be there? Simon and Lita were most likely there waiting for a sign from her. Giorgio, Albatross, the other children. Atienna went over the lengthy list of those who followed Maria in her mind. Maria—always surrounded by people.
Atienna looked out the window. The small Virgoan-like houses had faded away behind her. The white trunk of the tree grew closer and closer.
* * *
They did not reach the tree. Instead, the limousine pulled into an odd manor-like building that rose up a sizable walking distance from the tree. Circular driveways appeared to be a popular choice in Ndoto as the driveway the limousine pulled into was just that. Two winged stairways led to the entrance of the triangle-shaped central building, and out from the building’s sides sprouted east and west wings.
With the way the building was built and the way the limousine pulled into the driveway, from Atienna’s angle, it almost looked as if the tree was sprouting out from the building itself.
As Atienna exited the limousine, she studied the tree and its great trunk. Now that she was closer, she could see that it was rising out from a body of water. A lake it seemed. Or perhaps that was merely a mirage from the heat again. She was curious about it as the tree she knew grew from a marshy swamp not a lake.
Though—was there a point to be made thinking about it?
She would only be able to draw conclusions about the tree once she actually reached the tree itself.
The air outside the limousine was heavy, hot, humid, unbelievably windy—a sweltering draft coming in from the direction of the tree meeting the colder air from the opposite direction. It reminded Atienna of how it felt in the summers in her childhood village. The temperature radiated with such intensity that she could spy distortions on the hood of the vehicle.
But Atienna could not spy the sun.
Conta led Atienna up the stairs and into the building. The reprieve from the heat was a welcomed one—although it only intensified the chill that ran up her spine once she stepped into the building. Like every other building in this place, the walls were a bright yellow and dotted with bright orange circles and the carpeted floor was a vibrant green and orange checkerboard. What hung from those walls and the furniture that decorated those floors—items hand-crafted by the tribes of her country. Maneo paintings. Jino fanged earrings. Mkuki vases. Imamu masks—
“Come on now. I’ll take you to Maria,” Conta said.
Atienna blinked.
All her countries’ items were gone from the walls and floor. She double-checked just to be sure.
How many times had this happened now? Seeing things that weren’t there…? A symptom of VNW, they said. Or perhaps it was all machinated. It had to be—
Conta guided Atienna mast the half-moon receptionist desk and up the wooden winged staircase just behind it. The second floor was checkerboarded, the third stone, the fourth wooden, the fifth carpeted again, the sixth—Atienna didn’t know what the sixth was made of. But the sixth floor was not as wide the previous floors had been. It consisted of only a hall dotted with wooden doors. At the end of the hall sat a pair of big green doors.
Conta led Atienna right up to the doors, opened them, and gestured for her to go inside. Atienna didn’t know what she’d been expecting when she’d entered the room, but she certainly hadn’t been expecting an office.
A long wooden table cutting the room in half and an oak desk sitting with a window just behind it. A window that let in the light from the great tree. In front of that window and behind that desk sat a stark silhouette. The one person Atienna should have seen but hadn’t seen since arriving at Ndoto. The one person she had been apprehensive about meeting but the one person she should have never been apprehensive about at all. The one person who Atienna was certain would remain unchanged in this place of constant change—but for a different reason compared to Atienna’s own apparent sameness.
Maria.
The door behind Atienna closed, signaling Conta’s exit.
Atienna let out a breath and looked ahead.
Maria’s hair did not glow. Her eyes did not pulsate amber. There was not some ominousness hanging from her shoulders. And yet still, something about the way she held herself seemed ethereal. No, not ethereal. There was nothing delicate nor soft about Maria, but—
Maria, dressed in a navy blue suit decorated with golden clasps, rose from her chair, and rounded her desk. “It’s nice to see you again, dear Atienna.”
Atienna searched Maria’s face for hints, signs, familiarity. Maria—
The woman closed the distance between them. They were less than a quarter’s arm length away from each other now. The detail—the flecks, the shades—in Maria’s bottle green eyes was startling.
“I’ve missed you a lot, yes?” And with that, Maria enveloped Atienna in a tight and warm embrace.
The warmth in the hug was familiar and welcome, and Atienna returned the gesture in kind—
However…
She released Maria from the embrace and took a small step backwards. Maria’s arm and hand were metal. Ah.
Maria chuckled brightly. “Ay, Atienna, you are usually so good at these things, no? What happened?”
“Good at what things…?”
“Making sure these types of things aren’t awkward, yes?” Maria gestured between them.
“Oh.” Atienna took a moment to think. “Well, I do appreciate you putting it indirectly.”
“Hm? Would you like me to be more direct?” Maria laughed again, putting a hand on her hip and resting the other on Atienna’s shoulder. “And here people are always telling me I am too direct!” She gestured to the long table behind her.
Oh.
Atienna sat down at the seat closest to her. A second later, Maria was seating herself cross-legged across from her—on the table. How very Maria-like.
Resting her chin on her propped up hand, Maria sang, “So what have you been up to, dear Atienna? I heard you went to Small Services, yes? Gil brought you along to show you one of his workspaces—and one of his ideas, yes?”
Gleaning from the way Maria was proceeding with this conversation, it was evident that, despite Maria’s familiarness, Maria was indeed incorporated in this world. Atienna felt simultaneous uneasiness and relief at this revelation.
Can you hear me? Atienna wondered.
“I hear you, Atienna.”
Atienna’s heart skipped a beat.
“Your silence speaks a thousand words, yes?”
Oh. It appeared as if every other Ndoto resident liked to speak as if they were one thing even though they were the opposite. A bit vexing.
Maria leaned back. “You are thinking very hard about whats, hows, whys, and perhaps whens?”
Atienna paused. ‘Whens’…?
“May I ask why you asked me to come here, Maria?”
Maria’s brows rose. “You have VNW, yes?”
Atienna managed a tight smile. “Apparently, I do.”
Maria tapped her chin and then said, “Apparently. You are Atienna Imamu of the Imamu Tribe of Virgo, yes? You are a True Conductor. You are connected to me. You have recently escaped from the Saint Candidates and rescued your siblings and Safiyah—who is a bit mad at you—from being hostages. You ended up here after there was a plan to
How did she know that? Did she remember and was she playing along just like Elizabeta and Eunji were? No, Maria wasn’t the type to play along with things like this. Then—perhaps did Gilbert tell her? No, Gilbert hadn’t known some of those details. Maybe Werner then? No, Werner didn’t know the details either. Then… perhaps this Maria still remembered a past bout of ‘VNW’—as in, she still recalled how things ‘truly’ were?
Atienna paused in thought.
She had entered this line of thought with the belief that the people of Ndoto had no idea—recollection or knowledge—about the developments in Signum. However—if there were a shadow caster, they would know everything, wouldn’t they?
“You are thinking ‘how does she know that,’ yes?” Maria wondered out loud. She leaned forward and gently lifted Atienna’s chin. She held Atienna’s gaze and seemed to search it. “Dear Atienna, don’t get lost in your head all by yourself. You will get all tangled up without someone to lead you out, yes?”
“I’ve heard guidance counselors are experts at leading people out of their heads,” Atienna responded.
Maria chuckled. “You are staying temporarily at your parent’s home, yes?” she asked, rising from the table and walking back to her desk. “You still have your book collection there, yes? I know because you shared those books with me once after our first VNW together.”
“Books…?”
“I think there are seven of them? You wrote them.” Maria was at her desk now with her back towards Atienna. “Seven parts, no?”
Atienna’s mind went to her bookshelf and then to her conversation with Kamaria just the other day.
“You should read the fifth book.” Maria smiled at Atienna. “That will reassure you that all of this is real then, yes? I can see it in your eyes—you still don’t think this is real.” She picked up an object that been resting on her desk. It was an apple—shiny and red. “What is this?”
Oh?
“A fruit,” Atienna replied. “Perhaps a snack you’re planning to eat later?”
“Maybe. What is the name for it?”
Atienna humored her—“I believe they call it an apple—”
“No, it’s a pear.”
Atienna’s brows rose. “If you say it is.”
Maria laughed. “Come on, dear Atienna. Don’t be like that. If you think it is an apple, say it is, yes? I thought you did not like endings, so why are you ending this conversation so fast?” She turned to face Atienna fully. “What is it to you?”
“It’s… still an apple to me,” Atienna drew.
“And it is a pear to me, yes?” Maria turned her wrist in such a way that made it look like her fingers were revolving around the apple although the apple itself remained static. “You can say you agree with me, but it will always be an apple to you. The same goes for me, no?”
Hm.
“People are oblivious to reality. They only see what they want to see, no?” All one needs to do is shift their perspective.” She bit into the apple and grinned. “You’re right! It is an apple!”
“An interesting demonstration,” Atienna noted.
“It is, no?” Maria brightened. She set the apple beach onto the table. “To answer your question, I wanted to meet with you to discuss your trip outside of Ndoto.”
Ah, right. Supposedly, she’d been on a trip outside of Ndoto before returning here and getting VNW.
“You were doing some research for a policy you, some other policy makers, and members of the chief guidance council were proposing.”
“A policy…?”
No, what she needed to focus on was the exit to the place. Unless that line of thought was too rash. ‘This place’—
“It was about the people outside of our cradle here,” Maria replied. “The people beyond the gates. You have seen how ELPIS feels about it, no? And you have also seen what the guidance officers feel about it, yes?”
The gates. The children outside of them. The people outside of them.
“But it looks like you caught VNW on your way back, so it looks like we will have to put that on hold for now!” Maria waved her hand. “But that’s okay. That is what happens sometimes when people enter Ndoto. The minor cost of living in Ndoto, yes? The effect of the tree.”
Effect of the tree—VNW.
“The tree—I’ve heard a lot about it,” Atienna tried, “but I wasn’t able to find anything really in-depth in the pamphlets we received. The tree seems quite important here, so I was wondering why there wasn’t more information on that…”
“Because that information is not necessary to live in Ndoto, yes? It is something you learn along the way. It is more meaningful that way, no? That’s what you always used to say.” Maria gestured towards the window, towards the light seeping in through it. “The tree sustains Ndoto. There is no war, famine, limited resources here because of the tree.”
“That’s quite cryptic,” Atienna drew.
“Hm? Not really, no? That is what the tree is,” Maria said, approaching Atienna again. “You did make the pamphlets, yes? I like them a lot, but if you think they need to be changed, I am listening.”
“Ah, no, no complaints here—”
Maria patted her on the back. “Better not to criticize your own work, yes?”
Instead of pursuing the topic, Atienna pressed, “The tree—I heard that it’s the only exit to Ndoto. I wonder if I’m drawing the right conclusion about the term ‘returning to the tree’. Does that mean… dying?”
“Oh, yes. Just hearing that out of the blue could be alarming, no?” Maria chuckled before her expression calmed. “Ndoto is a place to help people continually pursue that end goal. If they truly attained happiness, they would not be here. You understand, yes? It has been explained to you?”
Atienna paused as an uneasy realization dawned.
“After achieving that happiness, what is there? For many, there is nothing outside of it. Nothing you do, see, find, experience can compare. And since the tree has provided the chance to obtain that happiness and the tree is not self-sustaining, the people who have achieved their goal become one—”
Atienna’s mind went to the winter night in the Die Hauptstadt when Trystan and Marta had melted into one and then to that hazy spring morning when Proteus had risen above the reservoirs. The former was not a recollection Atienna had herself, but it had haunted Olive’s dreams—each iteration of the dream becoming more twisted, mangled, terrifying than the previous.
“—with the tree.”
“They become fertilizer…” Atienna murmured, recalling Lavi’s words.
Maria laughed. “That’s an ominous way to put it, no?” She half-turned to Atienna, leaving only half her face basking in the white light. “It is not like we force them to return to the tree. They decide. Some go after they have obtained their goal; some stay until they are old. Either way, their journey to the tree is a peaceful one. Jericho has a hand in that, yes?”
Jericho…? That brought Atienna unease, but she pushed it aside. It was all peculiar. A strange society. Perhaps even a pragmatic one.
“Who planted the tree…?”
“Your ancestors of course, no?”
Atienna paused.
Ancestors? Monadism. Saint Candidates?
“Ay, sorry.” Maria smacked her head. “That must have confused you a bit, no? Talking with someone with VNW—or talking with someone who doesn’t have it—is like speaking with someone who is speaking a different language that has lexical similarity to yours. Similar enough to understand each other, but different enough where you could each be saying the same things but talking about something completely different.”
“That’s an interesting analogy,” Atienna noted.
“Everything is interesting or peculiar to you no, Atienna?” Maria replied. “That’s why you are the best at what you do.” Instead of elaborating, she continued— “I am sure you’ve heard about it, but there was a slew of wars a decade or so ago. During that very tumultuous time, Ndoto was the only place that remained untouched because it entered a deep isolation at the turn of the century.”
The familiarity of that line of history did not escape Atienna. The irony did not escape her either.
“But the people of Ndoto opened their gates and allowed refugees into their land, yes?” Maria pointed to herself. “I was a refugee. An immigrant. So is Werner. Olive’s, Jericho’s and Cadence’s parents were too, yes?” She slowly pointed to Atienna. “But you, Atienna, and most of the guidance council members are natural born residents of Ndoto.”
Ndoto. Ngoto. Virgo. The signs, the language, the parallels, the similarities. Guidance officers of this place could easily write off the similarities—rather, the perceived similarities—as a symptom of VNW. Creating delusions based on reality.
“The tree is not the exit you seek, yes?”
Atienna looked up at Maria in surprise.
Maria’s smile was calm. “I understand you want to exit, Ndoto? You and some of the others who contracted VNW the same time as you did?”
Oh dear. Atienna asked lightly, “Is it that obvious?”
Maria crossed her arms. “Do you want to see what’s outside of Ndoto?”
The door to the office creaked open.
In the threshold of the door stood Simon and Lita. Simon was dressed in a loose checkered blouse and khakis and Lita in a striped dress.
“Lita wanted to see you and Morandi before I took her to school,” Simon said with an easy smile, slipping a hand into his pocket. “We’re a bit early so I thought I’d spoil her a bit.”
Simon’s demeanor said everything. The familiar weight on his shoulders was nowhere in sight. The apprehensiveness that followed through with every twitch of muscle, the guilt that lined his smile, that glint in his eyes that betrayed he knew more than he was letting on—there were no traces of any of that.
“Ah, Simon, you are a loyal and dedicated guardian, no?”
“It is my job,” Simon replied before pushing Lita forward. “Well, let’s make it quick.”
Lita remained frozen in place staring not at Maria but at Atienna. Her eyes were clear—a bright blue. It seemed as if she had gotten somewhat used to seeing—that was, if she was still the Lita Atienna knew. That was if Lita hadn’t become integrated into this place.
“Oh, you know Atienna, yes?” Maria approached the girl and rested a hand on the girl’s back. She gestured to Atienna. “You look like you want to say hello, so say hello!”
After a moment’s hesitation, Lita glanced between them and paced over to Atienna. Atienna, in turn, regarded the girl and offered a polite smile as she tried to gauge whether Lita had ‘recovered’ from VNW too. Gaining vision after having lived one’s entire life without sight—Atienna reasoned experience such a thing could possibly lead to some sort of mental shock. Elation, perhaps, but shock first and foremost.
Lita stuck out her hand.
Atienna’s brows rose. “That’s very adult of you.”
Lita lifted her chin.
Was she integrated then?
Curiously, cautiously, Atienna accepted the gesture and smiled.
Lita’s lips parted ever so slightly but no sound came out.
Atienna kept her face as impassive as possible as she strained her ears. Yes—Lita was whispering. Barely audible. In fact, Atienna had to hold her breath in order to hear Lita above her own breathing. A strange static crackled in her ears—
“Wake up.”15
What?
No, that wasn’t it. Atienna was certain she had misheard—
Lita looked over her shoulder before turning on her heels and jogging over to offer Maria a hug. She rejoined Simon at the doorway. Simon gave Maria a nod and Atienna a half wave before departing with Lita.
“That was a nice interruption, yes? But let’s not get off the path.” Maria approached Atienna and held out a hand. “Let’s see outside of Ndoto!”
* * *
The woman named Shion Myosotis met them in the driveway of the building. She was dressed in a feather-print blouse with a pin-striped suit thrown over it—much tamer than most Ndoto residents. Although she greeted Maria with another one of those wistful hugs, to Atienna she only offered a handshake.
“Shion here will be accompanying us to the outside, yes?”
They took another limousine to a subway that rumbled through a series of tunnels for what Atienna imagined were hours. They exited out into an underground station and emerged onto a bright sidewalk dotted with colorful buildings of a familiar design. There, Maria hailed a taxicab—Atienna had only seen the vitae-powered version of them through Cadence in the Twin Cities—and flashed what Atienna assumed was her ID to the driver.
Maria had taken up passage in the front passenger’s seat, leaving Atienna and Shion to occupy the back. Maria chattered amicably with the driver much like how she’d chatter with her crewmates during a lull in travel—except here Maria pushed the conversation more towards the other person. How has your day been? Anything interesting happen lately? Anything troubling you? How’s your family? Quite personal questions that Atienna was certain someone only of Maria’s caliber could ask without hesitation.
Maria…
She burned bright here just as she burned bright in the reality Atienna knew. However, the manner of that bright burning—it seemed different somehow. Atienna couldn’t place her finger on it.
Maria eyed her through the rear-view mirror, and so Atienna looked away towards Shion—as she usually did whenever Maria did this. Whenever Atienna tried a curious look at Shion, however, she found that Shion was already staring at her.
Shion Myosotis. The dead peacekeeper—cause of death, suicide. Supposedly, the identity of the mysterious seventh in their group. Shion Myosotis who had offered aid to Atienna when she had first ‘arrived’ here. The woman had Atienna’s ID in her possession and had even excused Atienna and the others from being registered in at the Small Services District.
The light from the tree lessened as the vehicle rolled on. The buildings around them drained of color as well and started to become farther and fewer in-between. The people on the street lessened, the clothing they wore more subdued in color. The atmosphere grew more reserved.
“This is where newly admitted immigrants stay temporarily,” Shion informed her quietly. “The outer ring of Ndoto.”
“It is a bit sad here, no? It could be improved, yes? Like everything can,” Maria said, eyeing Atienna through the mirror again. “But we must understand we cannot achieve perfection. We can—”
“—only near it…”
Maria chuckled. “Exactly!”
“Volunteers come out here frequently—the ones Level 2 and above, I mean—and help the newcomers,” Shion provided. “There’s a volunteer program run in each district actually.” She glanced briefly at Maria. “Frequently though, people who usually come in through the gates the first time get VNW, and most are taken to Small Services for treatment. Being exposed to the tree is what does it.”
“That is probably what happened to you,” Maria noted. “You were not under the tree for a while, yes? Suddenly coming back under it after so long is probably what did it.”
The tree. An exposure leading to the onset of VNW yet also a provider. Similar in appearance to the Great Tree yet much larger. The Great Tree in Virgo. The signs in this place as languages of Virgo.
Scorpio somehow returning and playing games? Atienna wondered before she thought of the Talib of this place. Or perhaps someone was playing games with Scorpio? A fool, most likely, if that were the case. Only a fool would try to play a game with Scorpio—but then again, she and the others had tried something similar, hadn’t they? Well, perhaps it had only been a game to Atienna herself.
Either way if not Scorpio, which Saint Candidate? One they hadn’t seen yet? Or perhaps an ELPIS Leader Diverger? Saint Candidates. ELPIS Leaders. Both who had been pulled into this world too. But if neither of them was the shadow caster, then who was? Then again, all of this thinking was based on the assumption that this place—in one way or another—was not real.
Ah. Here she was again—going in circles.
Atienna’s thoughts left her as something large and gray loomed in the distance. At first, she thought it was a skyscraper. On second look, she came to realize it was a wall. It towered so high that she could not see its top and tapered so far wide left and right that it almost appeared to be built out from nowhere.
The car pulled to a stop at a dead-end road where the buildings also ended. All that stretched ahead was a fence the length of the wall broken up occasionally by booths Atienna could only assume were guard posts. Beyond that was flat earth all the way up to the wall.
The gate.
The exit.
Maria conversed with a person manning the booth before they passed on right past the fence. They walked for half of half-an-hour, each minute seeming to add another meter to the height of the wall before they finally reached their destination.
The wall was gray and bare. Nothing of note. There did not appear to be a way to go through it or climb over it.
Was the purpose of gates and walls to keep things out or to keep things in? Both, arguably, however…
Maria placed a hand against the wall and hummed. “This wall is not meant to separate us and them, you see, dear Atienna.” She gestured for Atienna to come closer and then proceeded to place her ear against its surface. “But it is to keep the treasured utopia we have here safe, yes?”
Atienna regarded her for a moment before looking back at Shion. The woman folded her hands behind her back and offered a tight smile. Atienna proceeded to humor Maria and accepted the invitation. The wall was cold and smooth—a respite from the heat. And—there was a sound coming through the wall. A rhythmic thud composed of two notes.
It sounded like a heartbeat.
Maria held Atienna’s gaze. “We will not lose what it is here. That is the role given to us, yes?” Before Atienna could respond, Maria pulled away and extended a hand to Shion. “Take us up, Shion!”
Atienna pulled away from the wall in confusion before realization dawned.
Oh.
Shion approached Maria and wrapped an arm around the woman’s waist. She then held out her free hand to Atienna. “I’ll try my best to make it a quick journey. I promise.”
“I can’t complain when I’m the one who requested the journey, don’t you think?” Atienna approached Shion and allowed her to wrap her other arm around her waist.
A beat of silence passed, and Shion held Atienna’s gaze. Then, there was a whipping crack followed by a deafening boom and Atienna was in the air—rather, the air both rushed around her and squeezed itself out from her lungs.
She had squeezed her eyes shut instinctively upon take off and now struggled to open them against the biting winds. The first thing she saw was Maria’s face and Maria’s gaze which was trained up towards the sky. The second thing she saw was Shion’s face and Shion’s gaze which was trained on Atienna herself. The woman’s expression was warm and empathetic and filled with that wistfulness Atienna had seen several times before.
Shion Myosotis. She knew something.
Something behind Shion’s shoulder caught Atienna’s attention. Something was peeking out from the blue skyline. Thin, barely perceivable black lines. No, white lines. It looked as if the sky itself was cracking.
Tree branches, Atienna realized upon inspecting further. There were tree branches up there, pulsating from a weak luminous white to a dull black. Crisscrossing and spider webbing out in a way that reminded Atienna of the streets of the Twin Cities. Their ends reached just barely over the wall, their beginning extending back towards what Atienna assumed was the great tree.
Was this the reason Atienna had never been able to see the sun? But how was the blue of the sky able to seep through the cracks between the branches but not the sun? How was night able to fall?
The wind stopped whipping around them, and Atienna took note that they were now floating level with the top of the wall. An updraft—most likely crafted by Shion—pushed them towards the edge of the wall where they alighted gently.
The top of the wall was wide and long with about a kilometer between where Atienna stood now and the opposite edge. Maria immediately started heading towards that edge, pausing after several meters to look back at Atienna who lingered.
Maria waved. “Come on, Atienna! You want to see, yes?”
Atienna took a step forward but paused and looked over her shoulder towards Shion. Shion merely nodded for her to continue on.
Peculiar.
Atienna joined Maria and together they began the walk to the other edge. Atienna’s palms began to itch in anticipation. The gate, the exit. She both wanted to see what lay beyond and to avert her eyes from it. As soon as she looked over that edge, something would be written into stone, a perspective shifted—
“Here we are!”
Atienna did not know what she had been expecting. Howling winds? Gray earth gouged out, ripped apart, raked thoroughly through by mortar? Smoke pillars reaching up for a break in the clouds? Or—the familiar forest line of the trees surrounding her village? The pearly white pillars holding up the remains of the Serpens Establishment? The lulling tides crashing against docks sprouting out from a seaside town?
Instead… there was only silence.
The silence embodied the emptiness, the desolation, the vastness of nothing that stretched out beyond the walls. The sky was clouded gray, the ground rolling an endless flat brown, the air thin and humidity seemingly absent. In all of that emptiness, in all of that nothing, Atienna felt incredibly small.
“People from the far corners of this planet travel for months, years, decades over treacherous terrain—wading oceans, climbing mountains, clawing through deserts—to reach this place.”
Atienna turned towards Maria who was standing at the very edge, the arch of her feet hooking her in place. Maria pointed down.
Just below them at the rim of the gate were tiny little colorful dots. Thousands of them. Although they were tiny, the shapes of them were familiar. Tents. In-between those tents weaved people. Refugees, Atienna realized. Refugees waiting to gain entrance to Ndoto—or the illusion of them.
“Why do you think you’re here?”
Atienna’s heart skipped a beat.
“We’re all running from something,” Maria continued. “Why else would we want to come to this place—to somewhere different, somewhere close to perfect?”
“Even you…?” Atienna asked more to herself—more to the version of Maria she knew.
Maria chuckled. “You are still fond of reading, yes?” she asked. “Ndoto is the end of the book. The journey’s end.”
“That’s—”
“—‘an interesting analogy’, yes?” Maria appeared amused. “Sometimes after going through something difficult whether mental or physical, it can be hard for people to trust when good things happen to them, no?”
Perhaps, yes. That was something Olive—her version of Olive—had gone through constantly. But Olive had held onto something Atienna could only describe as hope. Atienna herself, on the other hand—those ‘difficult’ things hadn’t so much happened to her as they had happened to people around her.
Maria pointed now from the ground to the sky above her head. “This is why we must give all those travelers a sign, yes? A beacon.”
Out from Maria’s hand shot a blinding ray of golden light. Vitae, as Atienna knew it. It cut across the gray sky before fanning out as far as she could see. It wavered in the air, its consistency somewhere between liquid and solid, before it thinned and spread into seven distinct tendrils—no, wings. They cut up high into the branches, severing them from the tree and then dicing the falling brambles into floating specks that pulsated from white to black. The ash—the snow—rained down onto those below. Although Atienna could not see their faces, she could see their hands reaching up to intercept the snow.
Leo.
All Atienna could think about was Leonhart Gloria-Ariete, Stelleona, Leonce, Isabella. All those whose conducting was just like the conducting she was witnessing now, all those who had shone brightly just as this, all those who had been deified by the people they served.
Atienna took a step back as Maria lowered her hand and the golden light cascaded down onto her shoulders. The way it fell made it look as if she was sprouting warped wings. Although Atienna had always had a one-sided tumultuous relationship with Maria, the person who stood before her now was—
“You have seen out of Ndoto now, yes?” Maria asked, turning to Atienna. “Are you satisfied?”
Atienna quickly put on a mask of gratitude. “Ah, yes, thank you. This helped to clear things up. I’m sorry for all the trouble—”
“Why are you lying?” Maria took a step forward. “What else can I do for you to make you happy, dear Atienna?”
“Am I that easy to read?” Atienna maintained her composure. “I… didn’t want to take advantage of you, Maria, so I didn’t want to ask…”
“You will never take advantage of me, Atienna,” Maria replied, the light dimming around her. “We are friends, Atienna. I’m the chief guidance officer here, meaning I am the guidance officer of everyone in Ndoto—including you.”
Those words stirred something that was not quite unease nor ease inside of Atienna’s chest. Someone who loved everyone truly loved no one, was it…?
“Thank you, Maria…” Atienna drew carefully. “I… heard from Nico that if I spoke with you, I’d be able to potentially get someone released from the Small Services District earlier than usual.”
“Is it Sefu?”
Sefu. Atienna had an itching feeling—a faint haphazard, untrustworthy daydream—that Sefu’s version of reality was similar to her own. However, the glare he had sent her had been… Regardless, she was certain he arrived at this place before she had—meaning, he could offer some hints and clues. And he was Sefu, always by her side.
“Okay, Atienna. I’ll send the paperwork to discharge Sefu—but you should be careful, yes? You were the one who sent him there, yes?”
Atienna drew herself back to the present moment. “Apparently I was…”
Maria approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I understand you, Atienna. Or… I want to understand you.” She thrummed her fingers on her shoulder. “But I would like for you to do something for me—for the people of Ndoto—before I let Sefu out, yes?”
Atienna tensed.
“It is nothing very serious nor time-consuming,” Maria reassured her. She studied Atienna’s face. “You spend too much time thinking, yes? It is easy to get tangled in your thoughts that way, no? That will only make you grow farther apart from people, you see? You are a former guidance council member and a current policy maker, yes?”
Former guidance council member. That had been hinted at several times now for it to finally be confirmed here.
“I would like you to go around and visit the people—speak with the people—we serve,” Maria16 said, “and survey them like policy makers and guidance officers do. That will help you better come to terms with the realities of the people and this place, yes?”
Six Chances 