「page 603」
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“Yeah, I’ll totally help you with your survey, Atienna! You can even ask the people who come in the shop some questions too! I’m really happy you swung by—”
“Are you serious, boss? You want to get VNW?”
“Huh? No, of course not.”
“Then why are you happy she’s here? No offense, policy maker, but we don’t serve VNWs.”
“Aw, come on, O-man. The Wibele serves everyone and everything.”
“Everything?”
“Everyone and everything! Mhm. Besides, didn’t you watch TV last morning? Gil was on the news channel, and he was saying that VNW can’t be spread like that. We’re all good—”
“Gilbert’s a sellout. Always has been. Always will be. Especially now since he’s gotten over his VNW.”
“Hey… Don’t say that about Gil. He’s one of us. I wonder if he liked that cake I sent him… I haven’t heard from him yet…”
Otto grunted.
Somehow Atienna had found herself back in the Harvest District. She had hopped onto a subway—a mode of transportation she was still becoming accustomed to—as soon as she had dropped her sisters off at school and headed here with her notebook, a survey questionnaire packet given to her by Maria, and her bag.
At the moment, Atienna stood at the main counter of the bakery with Werner and Otto opposite of her. They were busy adding swirling tops to dozens of cupcakes as she played with the strap of her bag.
“Anyways.” Werner set his piping bag down and placed his hands on his hips. “Do you want me to build you like a desk station where you can ask people questions? I can give a discount on some of my pastries to people who sit down with you too! It’s on the house for you though, so don’t even think about paying—”
“That’s how many discounts in how many days now?” Otto raised his brows. “We’re not some charity, boss.”
“I know we’re not.” Werner stared at him and chuckled. “We’re a bakery.”
Atienna watched them go back and forth for a moment. Why was she here? She had caught a glimpse of what lay beyond Ndoto—nothing. However, she had not seen what had laid ahead of nothing. She had no evidence that the reality she knew wasn’t beyond that. She wondered briefly if she should be investigating that area instead—exiting Ndoto since she knew the path outside of it now. No, that would be rash. She still wasn’t entirely sure whether or not what she’d seen could truly be considered the path to outside of this place.
Abruptly, Werner hopped over the counter and began to put together two of the tables in the corner of the room. He rearranged a couple of chairs before darting over the counter again and behind the door. When he emerged, he was holding a small chalkboard. He placed it upright, flourished his hands in the direction, before standing back with hands on hips and looking to Atienna as if for approval.
1 Fun Survey + 1 Free Cupcake = 1 Happy Customer, the chalkboard read. Beneath the word Survey was a question mark, the word Cupcake a shoddily drawn cupcake, and the word Customer a simple smiling face.
“It’s very nice,” Atienna provided.
Werner beamed.
Otto grimaced. “You should at least charge a fee for renting the space, boss.” He nodded at Atienna. “As long as you stay away from me, I guess it’s fine. What’s the survey for? A new policy you’re cooking up? You back in your policy making biz already or what?”
The short-hand terminology in Ndoto was very peculiar.
Atienna glanced at the clipboard in her hands. “It’s a very general questionnaire.” She flipped through some pages. “Happiness and satisfactory questions and the like…”
Also peculiar. Atienna could taste the reason for why Maria had set her on this task on her tongue. A potent flavor. Or perhaps it was self-absorbed of herself to think that she was important enough for Maria to think of her in that way.
Otto arched a brow. “So like a guidance officer shebang. So why’re you lugging it instead of a guidance officer? And why only the Harvest District? You know that only certain types of people live here, don’t you?” He shrugged. “Whatever. None of my business.”
Werner rejoined Otto at the counter and resumed his task of decorating cupcakes. Atienna watched them for a while before taking a seat behind the chalkboard sign. She flipped through the stapled survey packet.
Atienna thought to herself—she would recuperate with Sefu and obtain information from him. The evidence seemed to point to the fact that the Sefu she had seen in the Small Services District was the Sefu she knew. But before that, she needed to see Bachiru. It had nearly been a week now and she still had yet to catch a glimpse of him.
It was irritating. The way people who she was not certain were integrated into this place acted in a way that made it difficult for Atienna to determine whether they were ‘like her’ or not. She didn’t fail to see the irony in her irritation. That was how she herself was to other people, after all.
“I didn’t think I’d find you in this district so soon.”
Atienna looked to find someone sitting across from her. A someone whom she’d caught a glimpse of when walking the streets of the entertainment district with Klaus. As she took in that person’s features, she felt her heart begin to stir and then squeeze tight. Her mind buzzed. For a moment she was back on the smoggy streets of the Twin Cities hiding behind a trash bin as gunfire rang out in the light.
The woman across from her had almost skeleton-like features: high arched brows, high cheekbones, and a high nose. She was not wearing a fur coat and instead had on a tightly-buttoned blue blouse and—as Cadence had described to her when eagerly showing her a fashion catalogue just the other day—a black pencil skirt. Resting by her leg was a black leather bag. She had a secretarial look about her, ironically looking more like an office worker now than when she had been alive.
‘Alive.’
“Are you going to ask your questions…?” the woman asked.
“Yulia…?”
Yulia Kriska stared at her for a moment before smiling and offering her hand. “Sorry. I’m not sure how formal or informal I should be. We’re no longer working together, so I thought I should try to be friendly… It’s great to see you again.”
Hesitantly, Atienna took her hand. It was warm.
Yulia gestured to the chalkboard sign. “Is it real?”
Atienna glanced at the sign.
“I usually come here for my bread for the week. Fritz is very particular about his bread. He’s quite stringent about his cultural roots and cuisine. Apparently if you’re not—” her words become warbled “—then you can’t make bread. As if his palette can discern anything at all.”
Fritz von Spiel?
“But you know. Men. You should let them think they’re right to appease them. Survival in the household. Anyways, Kovich’s been doing well in school and I wanted to reward him with something. He gets bored of toys easily. You see—Fritz dragged us both to a football game last weekend and Kovich was all smiles, but I’m sure he was trying to appease Fritz. The desserts you get from the supermarket—well, all that sugar. It’d be nice to give him a better alternative.” Yulia gestured to the sign again. “So, is it real?”
Kovich too.
“It’s… real…” Atienna let out a breath.
Yulia smiled. “Very good.” She leaned back and crossed her legs. “I’m ready whenever you are.”
Atienna looked down at the packet in front of her.
“Oh, is it just a fill-in survey? I wouldn’t mind writing it down for you even if it’s not. A trip back into the past as your secretary. Do you have a pen I can use?”
Atienna hadn’t known Yulia well before she’d died. She’d only known of her deep care for Kovich and had an idea of her sense of justice—that was, her equivocation of justice to vengeance. It was sad, awful, terrible to witness—the woman’s desperation to obtain happiness only to become led astray by herself and have all of it slip through her fingers.
Despite having that understanding of the woman, Atienna wasn’t sure if this Yulia was any different personality-wise from the Yulia she’d known. Then again, she supposed if Yulia’s history and background were different here, Yulia would be different too.
Atienna silently reached into her bag, pulled out a bright pink pen which Cadence had provided her with two days ago, and then pushed one of the packets towards Yulia. Yulia accepted it with a smile and began to flip through it.
“Isn’t this just a guidance officer survey? The one they give out?” Yulia glanced at Atienna with a slight frown. “I thought for a moment that I was going to be able to get a peek at a new policy you were developing.”
Atienna offered a smile. “Nothing that fancy. I’m sorry.” She paused, thinking as she watched Yulia begin to scribble on the form. Curiosity itched as she thought to herself about herself—rather, the version of herself that was here.
Yulia blinked up at her in confusion.
“We did work together on policies… didn’t we?”
“Yes… we did.” Yulia returned her attention to the form. “I think the very last one we worked together on was expanding education opportunities to new immigrants and increasing the capacity of the Small Services District and…” She glanced over her shoulder. “… reducing the number of people we allow into Ndoto.”
“Of course…” Atienna drew to press Yulia to continue.
The tension between her Ndoto self and Jericho was becoming a bit more understandable.
“Too many at once,” Yulia said. “The tree provides, but not even the tree can do everything. We can’t ensure the happiness of the people outside Ndoto by sacrificing the happiness of people already inside. We have to be realistic. We can’t sacrifice that. That would defeat the heart of Ndoto itself. It’ll all fall apart.”
That line of thought was familiar to Atienna—Yulia had said something similar before. Well, not quite. ‘I don’t care about my country,’ she’d said. It wasn’t apathy exactly because she did care for Fritz and Kovich, but there was a certain distance.
Yulia glanced up at Atienna. “I know you were born here, but I’m sure you can sympathize with people like us who worked so hard to get here.”
“Not so different from the people waiting out at the gates,” Atienna drew, half curious, “don’t you think?”
“Well, we’re in here and they’re out there. That’s just reality. I empathize with them, but…” Yulia closed the cap of the pen and pushed the form back to Atienna. “It can’t be helped. It’s not like they can’t ever come in. Anyways, it was nice catching up. We should grab a coffee sometime.”
Atienna offered a courteous smile and then looked down at one of the questions and the answer Yulia had responded with.
Q: Are you satisfied?
A: Completely.
* * *
It didn’t take long for Atienna to find four additional willing participants to answer the survey—rather, to obtain free cupcakes. She found it much easier to hand the participants the survey and a pen and have them fill it out themselves than to walk them through the questions. This probably was the opposite of what Maria wanted, but Atienna wasn’t daring enough to close the distance between herself and the people here. Not yet, at least. Observation was her best friend here. Arguably, her only friend.
She had spent some time going over the responses, and they had all been quite mundane and ordinary. ‘5, on a scale of 10 for satisfaction,’ ‘The birds were out today so I’m pretty happy’, and ‘Work has been a doozy so I’m mostly unhappy today.’ Some answers were more elaborate than others—perhaps too elaborate. And too personal. None had drawn Atienna’s attention as much as Yulia’s answers had.
Atienna felt a bit lightheaded from that encounter still.
“Are you okay, Atienna?”
Atienna looked up to find Werner hovering over her. His apron was lightly dusted with flour and the small cat emblem on his uniform was almost completely powdered over.
“You look real down.”
Atienna practiced a smile. “Oh, no, I’m alright.”
She scanned the store quickly. It was empty, the buzz from the morning seeming to have lulled. Otto was at the counter nibbling on a sandwich and flipping through a rather hefty-looking textbook.
“Are you sure?” Werner sat down and placed a plate on the table. “Are you hungry?”
The plate was decorated with a handful of finger sandwiches cut into the shape of stars and hearts.
“We’re on break right now and there was some extra bread left over and I made a sandwich. A couple of sandwiches. Otto’s studying though and I kind of like to eat with other people, so I was thinking… maybe we could eat lunch together? Like old times?”
Atienna smiled, this time with little effort required. “Well, if you insist.”
Werner brightened and pushed the plate towards the center of the table as he sat down. He picked up a heart-shaped sandwich which appeared to be filled with jam and finished it off in two bites.
Atienna regarded him as she picked up a star-shaped one herself. This was an opportune moment to confirm some details, wasn’t it? “Werner, did you have a conversation with Jericho over the weekend?”
“Hm?” Werner was on his second.
“Maybe did you talk about the gates of Ndoto or talk about drawing lines between two groups…?”
“Huh…?” Placing his sandwich down, Werner put a hand to his chin and stared up at the ceiling. There was a beat of silence before he hummed. “I don’t really remember the weekend… at all. I remember the roller disco—you and me danced together which was really fun—and then I remember hanging out with Iris and then maybe… I got angry and did something I wasn’t supposed to and Caddy got mad and… suddenly I was in J-man’s room.” He chuckled. “Probably had a little bit too much to drink.”
Inconclusive once again.
“Sorry, Atienna…” Werner studied her with furrowed brows. “I could go ask J-man if you’d like…? He has a really good memory.”
Oh dear. Atienna could already imagine the type of conversation she’d have with ‘J-man’ if he learned of her inquiry. Her conversation with Maria was already putting her in for a loop and her conversation with Yulia yet another.
“No, it’s alright.” She offered him a smile before looking out the window. “It just would just be nice if I was able to receive a sign of some kind.”
“A sign?” Werner whipped out his hand and flashed her his index and middle finger. “Like this?”
Atienna stared at him inquisitively for a moment before realization dawned. She sighed—not from annoyance—and then smiled at him for reassurance. Not her own reassurance but his.
Werner lowered his hand. “What do you like to do, Atienna?”
Oh, this was a peculiar change in topic.
“What do you mean…?”
“Like for fun!”
“You mean as in a hobby…?”
Werner nodded.
The question was odd as this was something Werner would’ve known. Even if this was not her Werner at all, he should have known at least this aspect about her, shouldn’t he? It was the most obvious aspect about her aside from her attentiveness to gardening. According to others, she was not so much different from her ‘non-VNW’-self.
“Well, I do enjoy reading and—”
“Let’s read together then! This weekend—you and me. I’ll take you to this nice picnic area by the lake. It’s got a nice view and it’s quiet so we can concentrate and—”
Atienna’s brows rose. “Do you like to read? I wouldn’t want to do something that you don’t like doing.”
Werner paused. “Well… I read recipe books sometimes. Those are cool—oh!” He brightened. “And Ollie got me the next issue of this comic series that I’ve been wanting to read for a while. Comics are like those color book things just in case you don’t remember. Anyways, it’s about this guy who has this cat but the cat is like this alien thing—you know aliens are real popular with the kids nowadays—and he basically grants the guy superpowers. The guy becomes like a superhero called Meow-Meow Man and he has cat powers like jumping super high and like running really fast—”
Atienna stared at him before chuckling lightly before catching herself. “Ah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh.”
“No—it’s good to see you smile! You know what they say.” He paused and put a hand to his chin. “Apparently, ‘you know what they say’ isn’t what they say…”
‘Werner’ was very affable, if not too affable, Atienna thought. Even though she had some doubts on the breadth of his knowledge about this place, she was certain that he would be open about that knowledge—unlike some of the others she’d encountered in this place. He’d been somewhat open about his origin, after all. Even if she couldn’t gather information on that topic from him, she could try to confirm something else. So, Atienna tried, “Werner, can you close your eyes for me?”
Perhaps that was too forward?
“Close my eyes?” Werner obeyed her request and rested his hands on the table. “Now what?”
Oh, that was easy.
“What are you… thinking?”
“I’m thinking…” Werner’s brows met before he shrugged. “I’m not really thinking anything. Is this part of the survey thing?”
“What were you thinking about when asked me to join you for a leisurely outing?”
“A leisure—what?” Werner’s brows met before he brightened. “Oh, a laser thing? Like laser tag? Like the arcade? Do you remember the arcade, Atienna?”
Oh dear.
“Not that an ‘arcade’ doesn’t sound inviting, Werner, but by leisurely I meant… an outing. Going out together… to read.”
“Oh…! Right on! You looked down and I thought if we went out and did something you’d be happy,” Werner said. “I was going to say we could go to the roller disco, but that’s not your thing, right?”
“I suppose not.” Atienna glanced down at the completed surveys. Her gaze strayed to one of the questions. “But why would you do that for me?”
“Huh? Because…” Werner ruminated. “Because we’re friends.”
“Are we friends…?” Atienna muttered more to herself than to him.
“Yeah! I know it can get confusing with VNW but we are friends. We go way back.” Werner nodded. “I kind of miss when it was all seven of us. I don’t remember it too well but we spent a lot of time together. But you know, everyone recovered—which is great but—everyone’s so busy now.”
Interesting.
“And this was when we had VNW all together?” Atienna recalled the photo Cadence had shown her. “Cadence and Maria mentioned us getting it together some time ago. We… perhaps shared a delusion? Do you remember any details about it? Specific details?”
Werner shook his head. “I just know that I was kind of mean and I gave some people a hard time. ”
“I’m sure… you were well-intentioned,” Atienna murmured. “Doing what you thought was necessary.”
Werner’s brows met. “Uh… I don’t think… You know, even if you’re doing what you think you have to, I don’t think you have to give people a hard time… People have to do what they have to do all the time but a lot of them don’t end up giving people a hard time.”
The answer gave Atienna pause.
“That’s an interesting perspective, Werner,” Atienna continued. “Let’s change topics. If you saw someone else—a stranger maybe—who was ‘down’ like you think I am, would you ‘take them out’ too?”
“Yeah! I mean, why not?”
“If I was down and that other stranger was also down, who would you… ‘take out’?”
“Both of you guys.”
“You can only choose one.”
Werner appeared confused. “Only one…?”
“The way you’re feeling now,” Atienna tried instead, “is that how you felt when you… had an altercation with those men at the TwinStars?”
“Alter…?”
“The fight,” Atienna elaborated.
“Oh.” Werner shook his head. “Well, no. I just want to cheer you up right now, but I was pretty pissed that other night.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because Caddy is my friend and those guys were being—agh!” Eyes still shut, Werner slammed his fists onto the table rattling the plate there. “Just thinking about it pisses me off!”
Atienna startled at the motion before studying him curiously.
“Why are you angry?” she pressed, leading him along. “Are you angry because of what that adversarial person did or because something bad happened to someone and you weren’t able to prevent it?”
“Uhm… What?” Werner’s brows met. “I mean… it’s not right for people to do stuff like that to other people. I mean, like hurting other people. Like here—” he tapped his chest and then gestured to his entire body “—or anywhere. Those kinds of people always try to fake you out and say they’re just giving their opinions.” He motioned vaguely at an invisible perpetrator before slamming his fist into his palm. “Oh yeah? Well, let’s exchange our opinions with our fists.”
An interesting way of putting things.
“But usually there’s motivation for why people ‘hurt’ other people, isn’t there?” Atienna pressed. “Whether or not that reason is justified depends on the person who’s evaluating—who’s thinking about—the person. Perhaps one person hurt the other person’s family so that other person is enacting their own form of justice. In that case, Werner, who would you want to try to help?”
“Huh…” Werner shifted in his seat as the lightness on his shoulders waned. “I… didn’t think of it like that. Wait, no. I’m losing track of the people in your question. I don’t know, Atienna. I think these survey questions are too hard for me.”
Atienna felt her palms itch. “If Cadence and I were both in danger and you could only save one of us, who would you save? Who would you save if it were me or Cadence and someone you didn’t know?”
“Huh? Is this part of the survey…?”
Atienna ignored the question. “Who would you pick, Werner? Who would you choose? Can you choose? What’s pushing you to pursue feeling angry and act on those feelings?”
“Uhm… what?” Werner looked unbelievably uncomfortable now, but—
Something peeked out of the collar of Werner’s shirt. It crawled up his cheek and pulsated an iridescent dark blue. The scorpion tattoo.
“If you could narrow down how you felt during those moments and how you feel during this scenario to just one word,” Atienna tried, pressed, half-desperate, half-intrigued, “what would it be?”
“One word?”
Atienna’s hard thrummed erratically as Werner opened his mouth but he was silenced as a big black ball of fluff lunged at his face. It was the cat Kaiser who had just leapt onto Werner’s lap. The animal let out one long meow before purring loudly and curling up on itself there.
“Kaiser!” Werner brightened and planted a kiss on top of Kaiser’s head. “Aw, did you miss me, Mein King?”
Kaiser trilled.
“Oh? You want lunch? You know the vet said you can only have two meals a day, Kaiser. Vati’s sorry.”
Kaiser made an odd sound.
“I know, I know…”
That was a rather overly coincidental, somewhat comical intrusion—something Atienna was becoming accustomed to experiencing in this place. She didn’t feel quite annoyed by it, though as the feeling of anticipation faded from her, she came to a rather unsettling realization. This was something she had done to Werner during her time in the Zatenminye Caverns.
Werner began to open his eyes as he touched noses with his cat.
Wait, no—not yet—
Werner squeezed his eyes shut again and set Kaiser down after giving him one last cheek rub.
Atienna tensed, heart hammering.
Werner?
Werner’s eyes remained shut.
“Could you… answer my question?” Atienna pressed, holding a breath.
“What was the question again?”
“One word to describe how you felt during those moments.”
“One word…?” Werner rubbed his chin. “Hmm… Cool?” He nodded with affirmation. “Like an action hero—but don’t tell Caddy I said that.”
It felt like the answers had just slipped through Atienna’s fingers in an instant.
“Can I open my eyes now?”
Atienna nodded.
Werner opened his eyes.
Atienna paused, heart skipping a beat as she met Werner’s eyes.
Werner stared at her. “Wait did you say yes or no? Sorry…”
The moment was broken as Otto approached them from behind the counter. “Hey, what’s this about doing whatever this weekend, boss. Don’t forget, boss. We’ve got that thing this weekend. The guys are all ready for it but it’s pointless if we don’t have you on board too.”
Werner’s brows met as he craned his neck around. “Wait… what thing? Did someone place a big order or something? I thought we cleared everything out.”
“No, not an order.” Otto glanced at Atienna. “You know, boss. The mall.”
A mall? Atienna had read about the development of those establishments during one of Dimka’s meetings. It was a community center concept of sorts featuring vendors and stalls and the like. There had been discussions of a joint one being developed by a Cancerian entrepreneur and a Virgoan investor. Obviously, those talks had fallen through as soon as Cancer had entered the war.
Werner brightened. “We’re going to the mall?”
Otto shook his head. “No, not the mall, but the mall.”
Werner stared at him blankly. Otto sighed and leaned over to whisper something into his ear. Werner’s eyes widened.
“Oh…” Werner glanced back at Atienna. “Sorry, Atienna. I’m kind of busy this weekend but maybe next—”
The door to the Wibele swung open. A familiar face stood at the threshold of the door. It was Klaus, looking rather flushed and panicked. A backpack haphazardly hung from his shoulder and a handful of books were tucked under his arm.
“Klaus!” Werner waved. “How were your classes?”
Klaus waved back hesitantly.
Otto frowned and spoke in Capricornian. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Klaus approached them hesitantly. “The hauptmann—Werner—called me and asked me to come.” He made eye-contact with Atienna. “He said Atienna was here and that she needed… help with a survey—”
The door swung open once again. Another familiar face stood at the door.
Klaus startled. “Stein…?”
It was indeed Derik Stein, still dressed in that button-up with a stained tie.
“Kleine.” Derik jerked his head at the man before wordlessly nodding at Atienna. He swept past Klaus, approached Atienna’s table, and swiped a sandwich up from the plate. He consumed it in one bite. “Mm.”
Werner perked up. “How is it?”
“It’s alright. Bread’s good.” Derik pulled out a chair on the adjacent table and threw his legs up on the surface.
Klaus looked between Atienna and Derik. “How…? Where have you been, Stein?!”
“Derik here’s doing some special, groovy guidance officer, VNW-investigation help thing,” Werner provided. “For a special program thing. We have to keep it a secret though—even from Nico.” He tapped his pointer finger to his lips. “It’s supposed to be a surprise for guidance officers like Nico, right, Derik?”
Such a blatant, fantastical lie.
Derik glanced at him and nodded. “Sounds about right.”
“He has to put his teaching job on hold until he finishes doing this,” Werner continued. “Isn’t Derik so cool?”
Derik half-smirked.
Otto kicked the table Derik had been propping his legs on and sent the man nearly stumbling out of his chair. “You can’t even keep your head below the clouds, so the least you could do is keep them on the damned ground.”
Derik sent Otto a glare but said nothing. A surprising act of control on his part. And all surprising and uncharacteristic acts were warning signs in Ndoto.
Otto held his gaze for a moment before thumbing behind the counter. “Anyway, I’m about to clock out, boss. Would you mind helping me clear off the back shelf?”
“Sure thing!”
Werner followed Otto behind the counter and through the kitchen door.
“That Vogt is a mean bastard, but he’s also technically a dead bastard,” Derik said once they’d gone, “so I’ll let him have his way. For now. Nice to see him finally grow a pair of balls.”
Derik was wonderful as always.
“Stein, where have you been?” Klaus pressed. “We heard from the Leutnant—I mean, the Oberleutnant—that you were…” He shook his head. “Derik, Oberleutnant Wolff is…”
“Yeah, I saw what happened to him on one of those box things.” Derik gestured to his head and made a swirling motion. “Is it really him? Seems like this entire shit storm is that bastard Scorpio’s doing. Maybe he’s manipulating everyone here.”
“It’d be a bit presumptuous to conclude that, don’t you think?” Atienna murmured. “Some things just don’t line up.”
Derik ogled her.
Oh dear.
“Werner seems to be very familiar with you visiting. Have you been visiting here recently,” Atienna tried, “if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Everyday. Free breakfast and lunch—so, why not?” Derik confirmed. “Dinner too when Nico comes home late.” He eyed the door behind the counter. “The hauptmann’s the last person I thought I’d see settle down. He’s a complete moron, but he’s fucking fun.” He popped another sandwich into his mouth. “Anyways, before that I was doing some reconnaissance of the area.” He eyed Atienna and nodded at her. “I saw you go to that zoo with the kid. The kid’s even more of a brat now.”
Oh? So he was keeping an eye on Olive from time-to-time? Even though he’d said he hadn’t felt the pulse of his raison d’être?
“Long story short: this place is shaped like a circle. Big walls on all sides. They looked about 100 meters tall. Probably even taller.”
“You saw the gates?” Klaus pressed. “Were you able to gather information on the outside? Did you get out? What did you see?”
“Obviously fucking not. I wouldn’t be here if I could get out. I couldn’t find a fucking way over them.” Derik grimaced. “There’s no fucking stairs, no fucking elevator, no fucking door—”
Like Francis’s exitless rooms.
“—Probably need an air Elementalist to get anywhere.”
Klaus frowned slightly.
Derik sneered at him. “Don’t look at me like that. At least I got my ass up.” He ripped one of the books out from where it was tucked beneath Klaus’s arm. He flipped through it and sneered. “What is this? ‘Philosophy 542’? The fuck are you doing, Kleine?”
Klaus flushed and snatched the book back. He pushed his glasses up his nose. “I’m trying not to draw attention to myself.”
“By acting like you’re one of them?” Derik spat.
“I saw what was beyond the gate,” Atienna interjected.
Klaus and Derik, both wide-eyed, whipped to her immediately.
“Well, come on.” Derik motioned for her to continue. “What’d you see? Is that the way out?”
Atienna shook her head. “There was nothing out there. The only thing I saw were tents and people gathered at the foot of the gate—supposedly waiting to get in.”
“Maybe… that’s a trick,” Klaus said, slipping back into Common. “Maybe if we go beyond that—”
“That’s what I was thinking of initially, but this place twists everything on its head. So an obvious exit might just be the opposite or different from what we consider an exit. The way things are different here is specific, don’t you think?”
Derik stared at her and grimaced. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Just get to the point.”
“I get what you mean.” Klaus nodded. “Er, I’m probably being presumptuous in my perceptions of people and places, but I do understand.”
Derik scowled. “You know when you talk vague as shit, you get people killed and annoyed.”
“But what’s been bothering me…” Klaus fidgeted. “They’re different yes, but are the people here…?”
“Obviously they’re fake. Everything here is fake.” Derik arched a brow. He gestured around him. “Don’t tell me you buy all this shit.”
To be so steadfast and determined must make the world an easy place to navigate, Atienna thought. She decided to proceed to a different topic and drew slowly, “I wonder if we can find those differential patterns in the logic of this place—in the way vitae here works.”
“Conducting without a conductor,” Klaus murmured. “Like a Saint Candidate. If I recall correctly, the Ariesian prince called it…”
“Burning life or some shit.”
“They could only do it because of the tree,” Klaus continued. “I think the prince implied that it was because of the tree.”
Atienna nodded. “As we understand it, the vitae of Saint Candidates is at an extremely elevated level. Arguably, from a point of view, they’re no longer human,” she drew slowly. “Or perhaps super-human. Reality seems to have changed around us, but science seems to have stayed the same. There’s gravity and night and day—to an extent. The need to replenish energy through eating and sleeping remains the same, doesn’t it? Therefore, extrapolating from that, vitae…”
“Vitae here should be the same…?” Klaus pondered. “Like elevated vitae attracting elevated vitae and conducting without conductor being only possible because of that elevated vitae. It’s the same… It’s just that here, it’s viewed as normal.”
“To a degree.” Atienna nodded. “I wonder if that style of conducting makes the people here… invulnerable. Maybe that’s why there’s all this talk about going to the tree—dying, it seems—in order to exit Ndoto.”
“Wait? What the fuck?” Derik interjected. “What the fuck did I miss?”
As Klaus explained things to Derik, Atienna allowed her mind to briefly wander. Her mind went to that day at the zoo, to the woman whose throat had been cut clean, to the blood that splattered into the floor of the tunnel, to the flowers that remained after she’d exited the tunnel unscathed. Then her mind went to what Lita had whispered to her—
“—okay, so we cut someone and see what happens. See if they get pulled back together or not.” Derik thumbed the kitchen door. “We’ve got plenty of people to choose from. We could probably convince Werner to help us.”
“Stein!” Klaus shook his head incredulously. “We can’t hurt the hauptmann.”
“How do you even know he’s actually the hauptmann?”
“How do you know he’s not…?”
They held each other’s gazes.
“Before we move onto drastic measures like that,” Atienna interjected. “We need to speak with someone who’s been here for longer—who hasn’t been integrated into this place… don’t you think? Our experiences might be drastically different. I wonder if… I don’t know. I wonder if this place has changed any since they arrived and since we arrived.”
“Oh yeah? Ask someone who got here before us?” Derik arched a brow. “Who? The hauptmann?”
“It’s someone who I’ll be meeting on Friday,” Atienna replied. “I believe speaking with him will allow us to… glean a bit more insight into our situation.”
“Talking’s never solved anything.” Derik ate two more sandwiches. “It just drags everything out. Nothing ever fucking ends or gets solved.” He studied her. “To me it looks like we’re just fucking around. But fuck it. Let’s do that then. Let’s call it a vacation.”
“I understand your impatience,” Atienna replied to him gently. “After we gather information from the person I’m meeting on Friday… I think… we should decide from there.”
“Hopefully, we’ll all stay ourselves before then,” Klaus murmured. “Or hopefully we don’t become replaced. Whichever it is.”
The conversation quieted as Otto and Werner emerged from the door behind the counter. Otto headed towards the exit while Werner paced over to them.
“See you Saturday, boss.” Otto gave Werner a two-fingered salute.
“Bye, O-man!” Werner waved back. Once Otto had gone, he inspected the near empty plate of sandwiches. He brightened. “Do you want more?”
Klaus shook his head. “No, it’s fine—”
“Yeah, make it ten,” Derik said. “The jam was too sweet so cut back on the sugar this time.”
“Oh…” Werner nodded and smiled. “Okay, sure thing, Derik!”
The door to the store swung open before Werner could head to the back. Yet another familiar face stood at the threshold of the door. A face that made Atienna feel even fainter than she’d felt when she had come across Yulia.
“Safiyah!” Werner greeted the woman at the door. “How was work? Do you want to take a little break before you start your shift?”
Safiyah was dressed in a long red silk skirt and a neutral blouse. Hanging off her shoulder was a matching purse. A shawl was wrapped around her head, and the way it was held up vaguely reminded Atienna of Safiyah’s tribe’s cone-shaped headdresses. A pair of sunglasses concealed Safiyah’s eyes and completed the look.
“I’m sorry I’m late, Werner,” Safiyah returned in greeting. “Work was…. Well, it could have gone better. Taking a break right after being late would be rather callous of me.”
“Aw, it’s okay, Safi. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate,” Werner seemed to reassure her as he offered to take her purse. “Otto just got off and it’s actually not really busy today.”
“You’re too easy on him,” Safiyah returned as she took off her sunglasses, “and on me.”
What? Was Safiyah integrated into this place too? Integrated here and familiar with Werner? Or not integrated and familiar anyways? Something uncomfortable in Atienna’s chest stirred.
Safiyah stopped short as soon as she glanced in Atienna’s direction. She froze. Stared. They held each other’s gazes.
Werner beamed and gestured to Atienna, Klaus, Derik. “Oh, yeah! Atienna’s here too! She swung by to do her policy survey thing!” He whispered loudly behind a hand to Safiyah. “The survey’s really hard, but I think you’ll ace it if you take it.”
Atienna realized that Safiyah was gauging her just as she was gauging Safiyah. And the fact that they were mutually assessing each other meant—
Atienna whispered, “Safiyah…?”
Something akin to relief slid onto Safiyah’s face, and she took a step forward. Atienna mimicked her only to stop when Safiyah stopped. A fire lit in Safiyah’s eyes a second after. Without saying another word, she turned on her heels and exited the bakery.
Werner looked after her in confusion before calling out, “Enjoy your break, Safiyah! See you in fifteen!”
“Who is that?” Klaus asked.
Atienna barely registered him and watched as Safiyah walked out of sight from beyond the window outside. Her mind raced to different possibilities, to different actions, to the outcome of the actions. If the stayed here, if she went after Safiyah—the physical outcome not being so much different and yet the personal outcome….
Werner was staring at her. “Atienna?”
Atienna peeled away from the table and darted after her childhood friend. It didn’t take for her to catch up with Safiyah who didn’t even turn when Atienna reached her side. Only when Atienna grabbed a hold of her wrist did Safiyah whip around.
“What do you want?” Safiyah asked, tone flat.
Atienna flinched slightly. “Safiyah, are you…?”
“Am I what? Living in your reality? Is that you want to ask? How about asking me how I’ve been instead? Or where I’ve been? Or do you only ask to satisfy that curiosity of yours?”
“I was going to get to those questions…” Atienna replied after a pause. “You’re… you…”
Safiyah took a step back, nearly bumping into a trash bin behind her. “It would seem so.”
There was a long stretch of silence. Atienna wasn’t quite sure who made the first move but suddenly they were embracing each other. She wasn’t quite sure how long they stood there either—holding onto each other tightly, holding onto their mutual assurance in reality. She did know, however, that it was Safiyah who pulled away first.
Atienna looked away from Safiyah’s glare. “How…?”
“One day I was locked in that wretched room and the next I’m here,” Safiyah replied. “I can’t tell you much more than that.” She looked down the road. “Though, if I go to anyone about it, they’ll say it’s an infection of some kind—VNW. I’ll look like a mad woman.” She frowned before she gestured around them. “Then again, it’s rather easy to enforce your beliefs on another if you isolate them from all they know. The double-meaning was intended.”
“Safiyah…”
“Don’t get me wrong, Atienna. I obviously don’t trust this place completely. But at least my parents are here. That makes it much more trustworthy than you.”
Atienna knew Safiyah was merely lashing out in anger and hurt—which meant that she hadn’t been in Ndoto long enough for those wounds to heal. Atienna knew that Safiyah did not actually believe what she was saying.
Safiyah suddenly scoffed and shook her head. “I can tell what you’re thinking. You think you’re all high and mighty for keeping yourself so level-headed now, don’t you?”
Oh dear. Was that how Safiyah saw things?
“Well, say something!” Safiyah snapped. “Is it that hard to explain yourself or at least respond to me? Why are you always like this?”
A crack of thunder resounded above their heads before a barely visible pitter-patter began. Atienna looked away from the sky and towards Safiyah whose eyes were wide, her face pale.
“That’s never happened before.”
“What?”
“Rain,” Safiyah whispered. “It’s never rained here before.”
Atienna tensed as a chill ran up her spine. “It’s never rained…?”
A small shape close to the ground emerged from the alley behind Safiyah. It was small, shivering, white, wet. A cat. A cat with blue eyes. Alice?
Before Atienna could consider picking it up, another figure emerged from that alley and swooped the cat up into their arms.
“Oh, it’s nice to see a familiar face.”
Atienna froze, heart skipping a beat at the voice—smooth like butter.
The woman who stood before them smiled gently. None of her features were obscured by her bright, flower-patterned clothing, so Atienna could easily tell that she was quite beautiful. The black curls that popped out from her sun hat framed her pale face, and the bright red lipstick she wore brought out the fullness of her lips. Atienna was again reminded of Cadence’s Alma. Unlike Alma, the woman’s eyes were hollow, bottomless-pits—but not as bottomless as Alpha’s eyes had been. Paired with the kitten now in the woman’s arms was a bouquet of colorful flowers. Tucked under her left arm were two books.
“I think I saw you earlier at a football game, but I hadn’t the chance to say hello,” the woman said.
It took a moment for Atienna to find her voice. “Well, hello, Cvetka.”
Cvetka smiled. “It’s troubling that we met on such a rainy day, but it’s good to see that you’re yourself.”
“And you,” Atienna returned. She paused, considering, before she asked lightly, “Would I be correct in assuming that you’ve been labeled with VNW here as well, Cvetka?”
Cvetka chuckled lightly before hiding her smile in her hand. “I haven’t had anyone here diagnose me as anything. Or… I haven’t allowed them to.” She lowered her hand and regarded Atienna shyly. “I thought you would do the same, but I guess we landed in very different situations so it must have been difficult for you to do so.”
Safiyah looked between them. For a moment, it looked as if she was fancying the idea of leaving then and there. Instead, as she seemed to study the tension between Atienna herself and Cvetka, she stepped in-between them and asked, “And who is this?”
Cvetka turned her pitch-black eyes on her. “You’re… Safiyah. Atienna’s childhood friend—though it seems like there’s a dispute…?” She covered her mouth and looked away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I probably shouldn’t have said anything… you two were just shouting rather loudly…”
“You’re right on that.” Safiyah interjected, tense. “About inserting yourself where you don’t belong. Who are you?” She looked back at Atienna. “Who is this?”
The corners of Cvetka’s eyes crinkled, while her lips dipped downwards. “Oh, I’m very sorry.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “My name is Cvetka. Cvetka Akulova. I’m a… work associate of Atienna’s.”
“A work associate?” Safiyah’s gaze flicked between them. It was apparent she was trying to determine whether Cvetka was a work associate from Ndoto or Signum.
Cvetka continued breathily, “I haven’t been keeping up with Atienna’s activities since we started working together, but…I’m assuming, Atienna, you tried to resist the saint candidates and escape, didn’t you? You scooped up those who were being used as blackmail targets by the Saint Candidate. You had to narrow down your list of targets since rescuing everyone might not have been within your capabilities. And it wasn’t. That’s understandable. We can only do so much…” Her gaze flicked to Safiyah. “And you must be upset about the fact instead of being grateful that you were saved.”
Safiyah stood stiff, the back of her neck wet from rain water or from sweat—Atienna couldn’t tell. “How do you know—”
Cvetka tucked another lock of hair behind her ear. “I can’t help but think that it’s the people who’ve been fed with spoons—spoons of any make-up—that have the most to say about injustice, especially when they’ve never experienced it before. It’s easy to get angry at something you know you can’t control.”
Atienna tensed as she made out the title of one of the books tucked beneath Cvetka’s arm. Its spine was marked with a V. The Quiescent Six.
Cvetka seemed to notice the Atienna stare. She smiled as she pulled the book out from beneath her arm. “It’s a fine read,” she said. She tapped the book against her palm before running her finger down its spine. “I came by your house earlier for some tea, but you were off somewhere—well, here. Your mother let me borrow it. I hope you don’t mind. I’ll return it as soon as I finish.”
Atienna tensed but pressed a smile. She felt exposed but reacting emotionally would make her feel exposed even more so. “So long as you don’t mind me asking what you’ve been doing outside of reading. Perhaps… we share a similar hobby?”
“And what do you mean by that?”
“Admiring doors, perhaps?”
Cvetka frowned. Atienna had never seen her wear such an expression before so it was peculiar. Cvetka replied, “Do you mean finding an exit? A way out of reality itself? Why would I be seeking an exit to what’s right in front of me?” She regarded Atienna. “Why would you?”
The rain was coming down a bit harder now.
“If we find an exit, what is out there for us? Working under the saint candidates to live in a small happiness until the end? Fighting and dying and sacrificing for someone else’s happiness? Jumping into the fray of a war? That is, if any of that was even real to begin with.”
So, Cvetka had already chosen. Atienna tried to dissect the reason behind the woman’s words, her choice. Perhaps all of it was a bluff. Perhaps Cvetka was intending to lay low in wait for someone else to find an exit. Perhaps Cvetka did think that what was before Ndoto was a dream. Or perhaps—
Atienna realized, “The people in your circle—”
“My Astante is a part of Ndoto,” Cvetka confirmed. “I was definitely shocked when I found out I couldn’t feel him. It was quite lonely, actually. But when I saw his happiness…” She chucked. “I don’t mean to sound romantic, but his happiness is my happiness. His world is my world. His reality is mine.”
Ah, Atienna knew she should’ve expected this. Cvetka was similar to Yulia in the way that only the people close to her were important. Similar to Atienna herself.
Cvetka studied her for a moment before drowning deeper. “The most human emotion is vengeance while the most human action is self-destruction, our previous employer always used to say, didn’t he?”
“That he did…”
“I feel like we’re kindred spirits, Atienna, so I think you understand what I’m saying even though I’ve always had trouble being direct…”
Yes, Atienna understood. Self-destruction. Seeking an exit when something close to perfection lay before her. Or perhaps that was just a one-sided way of thinking.
“Apparently, you can only hold up to approximately 7 items in your short-term memory in time.” Cvetka stroked Alice’s head. “The heart is transient just like short-term memory, so it only makes sense that you can only hold a few things in there as well. So, I wouldn’t try to overdo it, Atienna—”
“That sounds like an excuse,” Safiyah interjected.
Cvetka did not acknowledge her. “Atienna, self-destruction usually leads to the self-destruction of others, doesn’t it? I’d be careful if I were you. You certainly don’t fit in my heart.”
Abruptly, Cvetka threw her hands out as a vehicle rolled past them on the road. Alice went flying in the air and smacked against the wheel the passing vehicle with a gross thud. Safiyah let out a shriek while Atienna couldn’t help but squeeze her eyes shut.
When Atienna opened her eyes again, she found that the cat was still in Cvetka’s hands. The bouquet of flowers was not. Petals rained down around them.
“Oh, my. I missed the trash can. I’m terribly embarrassed—” Cvetka pulled the kitten tighter to her chest before walking past Atienna. “I’ll see you around the idyllic cul de sac. It was nice catching up.”
Once Cvetka had disappeared from their sights, Safiyah whipped to Atienna. “What in Virgo’s name was that? Are you a magnet for oddities?”
In a sense, probably, Atienna thought faintly.
Meeting Cvetka—who was only one degree away from Atienna herself—and finding out that she was at peace with this place unnerved Atienna. But it also made sense to her. They were similar but off by one or two degrees. And those degrees mattered. But what were those degrees…?
“… are you alright, Atienna?”
Atienna turned to her friend and searched her face. After a long stretch of time, she finally found her voice—“Safiyah, I know you’ve been through a lot of trying events, but please believe me when I say that I only wanted to keep you safe. Even now.”
Safiyah remained silent.
Atienna knew this was not the time to press this question. However—“I don’t mean to press on you after everything, but I have to ask—do you also agree with Cvetka’s perspective on exits?
Safiyah’s eyes narrowed. “What? What do you mean?”
Atienna tried to think of a better way to put it.
Safiyah’s eyes widened.
It seemed as if Atienna hadn’t need to voice her thoughts, in the end.
Safiyah recoiled. “What? You’re asking me if I’ve been looking for a way out of here too? Don’t tell me you’re asking me to help you. Everything is peaceful here, Atienna. My parents are here. You expect me to join you on an excursion and leave them again?” She scoffed. “At least you have the honor to ask me this time around.”
Atienna drew quietly, “Safiyah, how do you know that the people you’ve met here are real—”
“You mean my parents? Because when I go home, I can hug them. I can embrace them. They feel warm in my arms,” Safiyah fired off immediately “And even if they’re not real as you deem it, they’re alive.”
But how do you know? Atienna wanted to ask.
Safiyah continued on, “Do you not… think Werner in there is alive? I know he’s associated with you from the little that you’ve told me. He’s not the same as the one I saw in those rooms, but is he not alive? Real?”
The question gave Atienna pause. The Olive, Cadence, Werner, Maria, and Jericho certainly were not her Olive, Cadence, Werner, Maria, and Jericho. But perhaps they were. Putting that debate aside, the question truly did stand out to Atienna now: were they sentient and alive? Or puppets on strings? Or—
“I’ll help you investigate,” Safiyah suddenly said. “Not find an exit but I’ll help you look around if that’s what you need. You are with that Capricornian-looking lot, aren’t you? They don’t seem like they’re much help.”
Atienna realized that Safiyah was having as much of an internal debate as she was.
“I’m only offering my assistance to see if it truly is safe here—not to see whether or not it’s real,” Safiyah finished. “I know it’s real, but…” She looked to the side. “The way the people here talk about that tree—that replica of the Great Tree—it bothers me…”
Safiyah’s response caught Atienna slightly off guard, though Atienna was relieved at how easy it was—but at the same time the easiness made something broil in Atienna’s chest. “I—thank you, Safiyah. I also… have concerns about that try. I’m meeting with someone Friday who might be of some help information wise. I’ll… get back to you after that. “
Safiyah didn’t respond to the gratitude nor the following sentences and instead asked, “Should we not head back? Who knows what’s in this rain.”
Atienna conceded with a nod.
They started back to the bakery in silence for a long while before Safiyah said—“You know of the council that helps run this place? Not the guidance officers, but the guidance council itself—you know of them?”
“Apparently, I used to serve on that council.”
“Apparently, I still do,” Safiyah replied. “Guess who makes up the council besides me.”
“I was under the impression that since there’s Virgoan influence here—in the history and some of the signs—that the council was made up of the tribal leaders,” Atienna drew. “However, given the fact that I formerly had a seat and you currently do… I’m conjecturing that it’s people like us instead. As in, members or former members of the chieftain family. The inheritors.”
“You’ve got it.”
“Oh dear…”
“Exactly.”
“Do they seem to have… VNW… in the way we do?”
“I can’t tell. Everyone here is difficult to read. I can’t tell whether they’re acting or…”
“How about your parents?”
“I can’t tell.”
A tense topic.
“I’m unable to tell with my siblings as well,” Atienna confessed. “And my mother’s also…” She could feel Safiyah studying her from the corner of her eye so she quickly switched topics. “I’m a bit curious… How exactly did you end up working for Werner at the Wibele? Did your… Ndoto-self work there?”
“Not at all. While I was trying to get my bearings in this place, I came across him and his store. I thought he was with you, so I tried to reach out to him, but… well… he’s a part of this place for the lack of a better word. He was rather endearing when I met him and somehow I just ended up working a shift and then another. It’s rather relaxing—cooking and baking. Besides, Werner is completely…”
“Harmless?” Atienna suggested.
“Well, I wouldn’t say harmless, but he does offer a sense of security with that simplicity of his. He doesn’t keep his intentions hidden. Something a bit more than honesty.”
“Like a shelter…” Atienna murmured.
Safiyah arched a brow. “I see you are still very odd with the way you describe people and things.”
* * *
When they reached the Wibele, they found it empty but Safiyah didn’t seem too bothered by the fact. Safiyah led Atienna through the back of the store, past kitchens, ovens, stoves, trays of bread, until they reached another door that was kept ajar by a foot stopper. The door led out into an open alleyway and let in the cold, wet air.
Sitting there at the edge of the storm and smoking on cigarettes were Klaus, Derik, and Werner.
Werner, who was crouching on the floor, turned and gave both Atienna and Safiyah a wave.
Klaus turned back and nodded slowly at Atienna. “Werner was just telling us how he’s never seen rain in Ndoto,” he explained. His cigarette bud was not even lit.
Werner nodded. “I’ve only seen it outside. You know rainwater gets everywhere. But my mom always said the well water out there wasn’t safe to drink, so whenever it rained we’d go around collecting water in buckets. Water outside the wells was really, really rare, so it was always a great thing when it rained.” He chuckled. “It’s kind of weird how it’s rare to see rain here too, but… it’s not as special.” He cocked his head. “I wonder why that is.”
“It’s not how rare something is that gives it specialness and importance,” Safiyah answered. “It’s people who dictate how valuable something is.”
“Huh…” Werner scratched his chin. “You’re really smart, Safiyah.”
Safiyah shrugged.
The rain pattered on.
Werner stared at his cigarette. “I would always have dreams whenever it rained. I had a dream when I was younger that I was a cat.”
Derik snorted.
Klaus shushed him only to be sent a glare.
“When I woke up I couldn’t tell whether I was a cat dreaming it was human or a human dreaming that he was a cat.”
Atienna felt the hairs on her arm stand tall. “That’s a line from one of Kovich’s book isn’t it?”
“About dreaming and butterflies…” Klaus agreed.
“Huh? Kovich? You mean Fritz’s son?” Werner stared before his eyes widened. “Wow, I didn’t know Kovich was a writer! His parents must be really proud!”
“Fritz’s… son?” Klaus whispered, incredulous. “The oberst’s?”
“What’s an oberst?” Werner looked back at the sky and brightened. “You know what? You know how you play in the sprinklers when it’s like super hot out?” He gestured outside. “We have a sprinkler system right here! We should go get our swimsuits and head out!”
Thunder rumbled.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Safiyah said.
“Oh, don’t worry about that!” Werner waved his hand as a crack of thunder resounded in the sky. “There’s a metal pole thing for the TV wires just outside so it’ll attract all the thunder if we hang out under it. What do you say? We could do it after work—”
“And that’s the signal for me to go back to eating.” Derik put out his cigarette on the ground before wandering back into the kitchen. “Remember, less sugar this time.”
Werner waved at him as he departed before turning his attention to the others. “How about you, Safiyah? Klaus? Do you—”
“I need to start on those pies that need to be done by tomorrow,” Safiyah17 said, locking eyes with Atienna before heading back into the kitchen.
Silence stretched on. Werner looked at Klaus expectantly—almost hopefully.
“Thank you, Werner, but…” Klaus fidgeted under Werner’s gaze. “I’ll… leave you two to have some time together.” He departed too.
Atienna waited until he’d left before sinking down into a crouch beside Werner. She studied his side profile for a moment before saying, “I’ve heard that people go to the tree when they’re happy and satisfied. I remember you saying that you were those things, so I was wondering…”
“Huh? Yeah, I am happy and satisfied,” Werner said. “But I don’t want to go to the tree. The guidance officers say I don’t want to go because I haven’t met my life goal yet.”
“What… is your goal, Werner?” A question not so different to the one she’d asked him in those caverns.
Werner shrugged. “I don’t really have any dreams or goals or anything like that… so that’s why I like helping people who do. Like Caddy, Gil, and J-man.” He poked her in the shoulder. “You too.”
Something in Atienna’s chest squeezed uncomfortably.
Real?
Alive?
Werner sighed. “My guidance officer gives me a lot of flak about it. He says I’m too… ‘unambitious.’” He paused and glanced over at her. “Wait—I know what unambitious means.”
Atienna offered a smile. “Oh, I never doubted you.”
“Aw, thanks—”
“I’m sorry, Werner.” The words slipped out of her mouth like butter.
“Huh? For what?”
“For asking you those questions earlier.” And in the caverns.
“Oh, no—it’s okay! I’m sorry I wasn’t really good at answering your questions. I’m really bad at that stuff. Sorry…”
“It’s okay if you can’t answer certain questions, Werner. It’s okay. We’ll never ever be able to answer all the questions out there, anyways. Missing or skipping a few wouldn’t hurt, don’t you think?”
Werner’s brows met before he smiled. “I don’t get it, but okay, Atienna.”
She studied him for a moment.
His brows rose. “What is it?”
If only she could consult with him—the real Werner, the real Cadence. But even if her version of the two were here, what would she even ask them? She never had to actually ask them anything in this realm of things as they’d always been able to read her mind. Perhaps that had spoiled her.
“I’m… writing a book,” Atienna found herself saying. “I’m stuck on where to go with the story though, so I was wondering if I could get some thoughts from you…?”
Werner brightened before he nodded vigorously. “What’s the book about?”
“It’s about this woman who finds herself in an unfamiliar… world, for the lack of a better word. A world not so different from her own but extremely different in others. All of her ‘friends’ in this world are strangers to her and act like this world is their home world. It’s perfect in many ways, but something out it makes the main character restless. She thinks there’s something more sinister behind it—” Atienna knew she couldn’t mention the tree, so she had to find a metaphor for it— “—behind the sun that the world seems to worship, behind the yellow raincoat man who murders without murdering, behind the people who spontaneously burn into flame, behind the fact that there’s no visible, viable exit..”
Werner leaned in with interest.
“The people there tell her the light from the sun can cause hallucinations and make her believe things that aren’t real.”
“Oh… is it like VNW?” Werner whispered.
Atienna nodded.
“I really like this book, Atienna.”
Atienna smiled, before going on— “The main character has been trying to investigate the ups and downs of this new world and has been somewhat stuck on her next course of action. Rather, I’m stuck on what to do with her. What do you think this character should do next?”
“Hm…” Werner took a drag of his cigarette, and Atienna resisted the urge to rip out of his hands. “You know a lot of people who read comic books like main characters who are… like…” He clenched his fists and swung a right hook at an invisible enemy. “Like that. You know—main characters who are action heroes. Like Meow-Meow Man.”
Ah, very straightforward. Basically, what she was doing wasn’t enough.
“Maybe…” Werner continued. “Maybe the main character can fight the raincoat guy. Fight the sun. Break out!” He scratched his chin. “Or maybe… she could relax a bit before she goes out fighting people? Oh! Maybe she can treat it like a vacation.”
Atienna felt something tickle her throat. She allowed a laugh to escape from her lips which she covered with her hand—but the laugh was shortly followed by a hacking cough.
Werner startled beside her. “Atienna, you’re soaking wet! You’ll catch a cold! Here—” He unbuttoned his kitchen uniform and whipped it off before Atienna could stop him. Thankfully, he was wearing a plain t-shirt underneath. Before she could protest, however, he wrapped her in it and rubbed her arms. “Oh! Let me get you some tea.” He was gone18 before she could get in a word.
Atienna turned back to look at the rain before coming to realize that there was something in her hand. She looked down. In her palm rested a small flower in the shape of a star.
Six Chances 