30.6:《A》¿I did, did I?

「page 605」

°

「

This one.

」

°

Sefu sat beyond the two-way mirror at a wooden desk in a room with warm peach-colored walls. There was nothing decorative in the room beside a fern plant that looked in need of a watering. 

“You can go in and take him out,” Nico said from beside Atienna, “but I suggest you have a quick chat with him first so we can see how he does. He passed our psych evaluations, but that doesn’t translate to the real world.”

“I understand.” Atienna pressed her hand against the door beside the mirror. “Thank you, Nico.”

Nico frowned. “Sure.”

Atienna entered the room. The door shut behind her. Sefu looked up, stood up. The both of them remained silent, holding each other’s gazes. The man’s expression—it was rather hard, calculating, abrasive. Suddenly, however, his brows rose, and his entire body tensed.

“Atienna…?”

Peculiar.

“Sefu.” Atienna offered a pleasant smile. “This is an odd place to reunite, don’t you think?”

Sefu rounded the table now. “Atienna?”

Atienna tried not to physically tense and instead chuckled and then hid her smile with her hand. “That would be me.”

Sefu tentatively closed the distance between them but stopped short a foot away. “What are you doing here…?”

“I asked for your early release,” Atienna replied, “so I’m here to pick you up. Ah, I didn’t think to tell your parents about it—though, frankly, I’m not quite sure if they’re… ‘here.’”

Sefu tensed again and looked over her carefully. “What do you mean by…. ‘here’?”

“Here in Ndoto,” Atienna replied, “unaffected by VNW… without the belief that they’re from a country called Virgo.”

“So… you are you.”

“And you are you too, I hope.”

“I… am….” Sefu paused, gears visibly turning inside his head. “You asked for my release? Did you not hear—”

Atienna lowered her hand from her mouth and allowed her smile to fall from her lips. “Oh, I did hear. From both the people here and Bachiru.”

“I… see…”

Oh? No, ‘It’s not what it looks like!’ nor any ‘I can explain myself!’…?  That certainly reframed things, and it certainly did sting a bit.

“It wasn’t you.”

Atienna looked back up at him.

Sefu continued, eyes intense, “It was something pretending to be you.”

Something? Not someone?

Sefu opened and then closed his mouth. “I would never do anything to hurt you, Atienna.” He placed  My duty is to protect the chieftain family—past, present, and future—of the Imamu Tribe. On my life.”

Atienna certainly was no fool—at least, she certainly hoped she wasn’t. It was rather ridiculous to trust someone who openly admitted to engaging in a physical altercation with her—even if it was some ‘other’ version of her, even if there was a particular reason aside from malice behind it. But then again, it was also rather ridiculous to rely on anecdotal evidence from others in a place where reality changed from one moment to the next. 

The irony didn’t escape Atienna. The uncertainty about this place—this environment that she knew she should thrive in—was now something she struggled to stay afloat in.

“And why did you… attack that fake me? What was the reason behind that…? Are you able to tell me?”

Sefu nodded once. Twice. “That fake was going to—they had plans to harm our tribe.”

“Harm our tribe…? How?”

Sefu’s lips thinned. “There is a monster at the center of this place. I don’t fully understand it, but it needs to be fed in order to survive and keep this place ‘alive’—”

Did he mean the tree? 

“—and there is something about Virgoans and the monster and keeping this place in place and becoming a part of this place.” Sefu rattled on. “And that person who looked… who looked like you… wanted to…”

It was rather hard to follow what he was saying. As he went on and on, he sounded more and more untethered, so untethered to the point that an outsider would’ve questioned his sanity. Atienna had no doubt that Sefu believed and acted in earnesty in accordance with his version of reality, but did that translate to everyone else’s version?

“I did what I thought I had to do to protect the tribe,” Sefu finished. 

“How did you know it wasn’t me?” A self-serving question, really.

Sefu froze, staring. “You—you would never harm the tribe, nor your family.”

He thought so highly of her, though Atienna had always known his judgment was clouded by a certain bias stemming from… certain feelings.

“How do you know that I’m not another fake? Someone in disguise perhaps?”

Sefu opened and then closed his mouth. “When I look at you, Atienna, I know.”

He knew whether she was real or fake inherently? Unlike Atienna herself who was unable to discern whether the Olive, Cadence, Werner, Maria, Jericho of this place were real or not despite sharing minds with their ‘counterparts.’ What did that make Sefu? What did that make her?

“Freeing a man who allegedly tried to harm me, a man who insists that he only acted in such a way because the me he attacked was fake,” Atienna drew, watching Sefu’s expression carefully, “… ‘that’s a rather foolish thing to do’ is what I would think if I read a character doing the same.”

Sefu froze and took a step back. “I know how it sounds. It is what it sounds like. I would like to leave the judgment to you, Miss Imamu, just as I have always done—but… that imposter is still out there. We must… stop her before…”

“Before…?”

Sefu shook his head. “Before she feeds the tribe to…” 

“You mentioned the tribe several times now,” Atienna tried instead of pursuing the topic. “Are they—”

“They’re here,” Sefu confirmed. “At least, most of them are. The ones who we left back in Virgo. I am not certain if they have been swallowed by this place or not but…”

“Swallowed?”

“Changed,” Sefu explained.

“When did you come into conflict with this…. person?”

“It was about a month ago,” Sefu replied gravely. 

What? A month? He’d been here for an entire month…?

“I ‘arrived’ at this place almost two weeks ago,” Atienna drew slowly, “and have since been diagnosed with VNW.”

“That…” Sefu hesitated. 

“What is it?”

“Before that doppelganger informed me of their intentions towards the tribe,” Sefu drew, “they said they needed to do something ‘outside’ first. I should have known then. The idea of leaving this place—they talked about it so naturally. I should have known then. I did know, but—”

This ‘fake’ left when she appeared? Something about this fact unnerved Atienna.

“Sefu… how long have you been here?”

Sefu’s brows met. “I’m sorry, Atienna. I don’t know.”

They stood there in silence for a long while.

Sefu certainly seemed to know more about the ongoings of this place than anyone else who was not integrated into this place did. But how much of a base did that knowledge have in reality? And how much was she willing to wager that he wouldn’t harm her siblings if he thought they were fake and planning on harming the tribe? Though—was that thought mere bias? Or would bias be in her trust towards him because he’d been by her side for years?

“Sefu, we’ve known each other for a very long time,” Atienna drew, “and it would be rather devaluing of our relationship if I pulled away my trust after you explained yourself. But, Sefu, my family—”

“I would never harm them.”—Sefu said this with absolute certainty that Atienna truly believed him. 

“Then, would you like to get something to eat?”

Sefu brightened, although not completely. He nodded. “I’m starving.”

Atienna gestured to the door. Sefu seemed to understand her unspoken words and he approached the door. Keeping her eyes on him, Atienna joined him and then opened the door for him. Nico was leaning against the wall across from them.

“You need to report to me daily, Sefu Imamu,” he said. “I’ll call you on your home phone. If you miss a check-in, you’re back here.”

Sefu nodded.

Nico sighed and shook his head. “Look. I’m only being harsh because you’re a guidance officer too.”

Oh? Was that so?

Nico glanced between them. “Don’t you think it’s weird? Two native Ndotoans getting VNW around the same time. At most we get one or two native Ndotoans getting VNW every six or seven years.”

Oh?

Nico shook his head. “And that damned Gilbert still wants to bring VNWs out and ELPIS still wants to open the gates. They need to wake up.”

After leaving Nico’s side, Atienna walked with Sefu through the halls of the Small Services District building in silence. The people who passed them by eyed them with some curiosity but ultimately only smiled and said nothing. Soon, they were in the lobby of the building leading to the entrance. It was rather busy. Atienna imagined she’d see Gilbert or Elizabeta somewhere among the sea of faces.

Once Atienna reached the exit with Sefu, she absentmindedly threw a glance over her shoulder—and  spotted a particular someone. Someone who made her freeze immediately in her tracks.

It was her.

Her—

—as in herself.

Atienna Imamu stood across from Atienna Imamu. However, unlike Atienna Imamu, Atienna Imamu was dressed exactly as Atienna Imamu should have been dressing. The robes of her tribe, the silk of her tribe, everything.

An itch tickled Atienna Imamu’s throat and she entered a coughing spasm so intense that she doubled over on the floor. Her vision blurred as her ears rang as her heart thundered inside of her head. The beat of her heart was steady, loud, rhythmic—no, that wasn’t the beat of her heart. It was a thud, thud, thud—

Upon weakly looking up, Atienna found that she was sitting in complete darkness and encircled by men and women dressed in the silk robes of her country. Their faces were indistinguishable due to both the darkness and—and half of their faces were painted over with bright, zig-zagging floral patterns while the other half wore wooden masks with petals that spiraled out to such an extent that it looked like their necks would snap under the weight of it. In all of their hands were carved wooden staffs that pounded against the ground to that thud, thud, thud.

Atienna Imamu stood across from her—no, Atienna Imamu was drawing nearer and nearer. 

But Atienna Imamu was rooted to the ground, caught in a coughing spasm that wouldn’t free her no matter how hard she struggled against it.

Now Atienna Imamu stood right in front of Atienna Imamu and wrapped her hands around Atienna Imamu’s neck. Atienna Imamu’s fingers tightened more and more around Atienna Imamu’s neck as Atienna Imamu flailed and hacked out flower petals until—until Atienna Imamu felt a pop that reminded her of snapping shears shut over the stem of a rose—

Atienna swallowed a shout as she snapped up in her bed. Sweat poured from her brows and clung to her back and her ears rang. It took her a moment to realize she was in her room—rather, her Ndoto-self’s room. 

Certainly, a terrible dream, she thought as she recollected herself. 

Bachiru was sleeping—rather, snoring—on the floor, arms and legs splayed out. All of her shouting and shifting and he was still asleep? What a deep sleeper he was. 

Atienna slid off from the bed and crouched beside her brother for a moment before pecking him on the cheek. Then, she moved over to her bookcase and ran her fingers along the spines there. Her index finger fell through a gap in-between two books on the second shelf. I, II, II, IV, VI, VII.

It seemed as if Cvetka hadn’t returned the fifth book yet.

Atienna—as per her usual habit—flipped to the last page of the first book and read the last line.

“We have to… because we’re the only hope left.”

She did the same for the second book.

“Let’s move up the syzygy, shall we? Capricorn seems like a good place to start.”

And then the third book.

“Cheers to the years and lives we’ve lived and given. Cheers to the syzygy and the end.” 

Crystalline clinks filled the room.

The fourth next.

WELCOME TO THE NDOTO ANNUAL POOLSIDE THRASH OF 1969

Atienna felt her heart skip a beat at that familiar slew of words that was still fresh in her mind. She pressed her fingers to the word Ndoto before shelving the book and slowly taking out the sixth one. She flipped to the end and read the only line there.

And just like that, everything became nothing.

She flipped to the previous page.

Blank.

She flipped to the middle.

Blank.

She flipped to the beginning.

Blank again.

* * *

“So, ELPIS plans to do a protest at the gate, Bachiru, and your plan is to go with them because you think that somehow a group of terrorists are the key to escaping this place, so we are to join them?” Three sarcastic claps. “Your ingenuity is certainly overwhelming.”

“At least I am doing something instead of running around a—what—bread shop? At least I am trying to escape,” came the rebuttal. “You, Safiyah—you act like you don’t want to leave.”

There was a beat of silence.

“It sounds more like you’ve spent your time making baseless accusations.”

Although there were eight people sitting together at this table, those two dominated the conversation. Atienna’s prediction had been as such—though she’d also predicted that those two would draw the attention of whispering passersby. However, despite it being a Friday evening and despite the fact their group was sitting outside on a warmly lit patio, there was barely anyone strolling along the sidewalk. 

The table was full, however, every seat occupied, each occupant with a slice of cake in front of them. Atienna had tried a few bites of hers and, unsurprisingly, it was near perfect to her tastes. Sefu seemed to share the sentiment as he was working on his third plate across from her.

“I do not feel comfortable sitting at this table with him, Atienna,” Bachiru said suddenly. “I’ve ignored it long enough. If we were back in Virgo, he would be put on trial immediately. And how here we’re just excusing him?” 

Atienna looked to her left where Bachiru sat then back at Sefu who had stopped eating. Sefu placed his utensil down and rose from his seat.

“Then, I will sit inside—”

“That is not the issue here,” Bachiru interjected. “The issue is that you attacked my sister and now you are acting as if nothing happened.”

Safiyah frowned at this and looked between them.

“That was not Atienna,” Sefu said. “I would…” A pause. “I would never hurt Atienna. That was not Atienna. A look-a-like. Some Transmutationist, maybe. That person had plans to harm the tribe—”

“—by feeding them to this ‘monster’ you keep telling us about?” Bachiru interjected. “How am I to trust you?”

A pained look passed Sefu’s face, but it soon passed. Most likely, he felt hurt at the lack of trust but also simultaneously understood the reason for it. Now, both Bachiru and Safiyah frowned.

“I have served the chieftain family of the tribe for years—”

“And we are no longer members of the chieftain family,” Bachiru responded. 

Sefu opened and then closed his mouth. “Yes, but I still view you as just as important. You, Kamaria, Kichea, your father, Atienna.” He gestured to Atienna. “This is Atienna.”

Bachiru remained stolid.

“You can have my hands, my tongue, and my feet, but I swear to you on my ancestors that my loyalty is with the Imamu tribe.”

Bachiru’s brows met. “Sefu, we have known each other since we were children, but… I do not feel safe around you.”

Sefu’s face became stricken. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Derik, who was sitting to Sefu’s right, snapped irritably in Common. 

Atienna was rather surprised he hadn’t said something earlier.

“I don’t understand what the hell you’re saying,” Derik continued on before jerking his head at Klaus who sat beside him. “You?”

“I can… understand a word here and there,” Klaus mumbled. He glanced at Atienna. “That’s Tembo language, right?”

Atienna nodded. 

Carl, who sat on the opposite of Klaus, snorted. “You Capricornians don’t get out much, do you?”

Derik sneered. “Say that one more time.”

“And who is this uncouth man?” Safiyah asked in their native tongue. She subtly side-glanced at Derik. “He looks like he hasn’t had a shower in years.”

Eunji, who was sitting beside Safiyah, raised her brows at this and looked over at Felix beside her. He seemed to have abandoned his handkerchief mask altogether. He had rather sharp features.

Safiyah noticed Eunji’s reaction and smiled. “I see you’re well-versed in languages.”

Eunji tensed at the attention before she nodded. She responded in their language, rather accented, “Yes, it was taught… by my tutor. It’s required for us to know at least five of Signum’s languages. I thought Virgoan languages were interesting.”

Atienna thought of Cadence. Cadence and Eunji. Two people from different social classes who had to become polyglots to survive in their environment. 

“Heirs…” Bachiru pondered out loud. “I assume you actually play an important role in politics unlike the chieftain families outside of the head chieftain of the tribe.”

Safiyah’s eyes narrowed.

“I actually really like Virgo’s system of having members—children—of the chieftain families participate in pseudo politics,” Eunji said.

“Like I said, what the fuck is this shit?” Derik interjected, stealing Klaus’s half eaten slice of cake, “We’re going to the gate tonight because your brother here thinks that ELPIS is going to do something that’ll help bust down the gates tonight in a protest or whatever, and that’s our ticket out of here, right?”

Atienna replied, “That does appear to be the case—though it’s a bit early to conclude that this is our ticket out of here, don’t you think?”

Derik leaned back in his chair. “You sound like what the hauptmann would sound like if he ate a book.” He waved his hand around the table. “Anyways, if the plan is settled then what’s with all this other bullshit?”

Bachiru and Sefu frowned in unison. Eunji peered at him curiously. 

Klaus flushed. He whispered in Capricornian, “Stein, you’re talking to Sagittarian royalty and members of the chieftain families—they hold power of Virgo—”

“And they’re talking to a damned Capricornian landser,” Derik shot back. “Rank and file means bullshit here anyways.” He jerked his head at Eunji. “She’s not a princess here. She’s just a bratty secondary school student—”

“How dare you speak about the princess that way?” Felix said, eyes narrowing. 

Derik glanced at him and snorted. “Finally. A word out of you. You were sitting like a rock over. I thought you were going to turn out like our lieutenant.”

Klaus sighed.

“I’ve seen him before,” Sefu said, nodding at Klaus. He had switched to Common. “When Atienna was traveling to Capricorn for the Conductor Convention.” He pressed, “We have met, Mr. Klaus?”

Klaus adjusted his glasses. “Yes, I… believe so. I remember seeing you on the train. It’s nice to actually meet you.”

Derik grimaced.

“So… will it be just us?” Klaus asked. “Will we be… the only ones going?”

Bachiru regarded Klaus carefully before he lifted his chin with some sort of conjured authority and nodded. “Yes, for the time being, it will just be us. As much as I would like to bring along my siblings, it would be much too dangerous too. In any case, this can just be considered an expedition.”

Oh dear. He was taking it with stride, wasn’t he?

“What about…” Klaus drew slowly.

“The ones who have been integrated…?” Sefu concluded with a question.

Klaus nodded. “And…”

And people like Elizabeta.

“What? They’re all…” Derik whirled his finger at his temple.

“Watch it,” Carl warned.

Was he being defensive of Cadence?

Derik ignored him. “There wouldn’t be a point. Why the fuck would they want to leave if they think they’ve got it made here?” 

“But—”

Derik gave a two fingered whistle. 

The door to the shop—rather, the bakery—they were sitting in front of squeaked open and Werner popped his head out. Despite the Wibele being closed today, Werner had pulled out one of the tables inside and had set up a space for them outside. He’d even pulled out some fresh bread and sweets for them without having even been asked.

“Do you guys need something?” he asked.

“Yeah, we need you for something we’ve got planned for tonight,” Derik said. He jerked his head at Atienna. “She needs you for something tonight. Are you in or not?”

“Huh? Tonight? No, I can’t,” Werner said. “I have plans with the guys. What is it—” 

“Forget it.” 

“Oh…” Werner looked back and forth between them. “Okay…”

Derik shooed him off with a—“The cake wasn’t too sweet this time. Keep it up”—which evidently left Werner in good spirits because he smiled as he reentered the store.

Safiyah frowned at him. “You have no respect. Always taking without putting in anything or working.  You come in and eat every single day without paying a—”

Was she being defensive over Werner…?

“I’ve worked my ass off more than you ever have,” Derik scoffed. “I’ve been out on the field since I was 16. I’ve killed hundreds of groans and hundreds of Aquarians. I guess I protected my country too while I was at it.” He pointed at Safiyah. “What have you accomplished? Checked off a couple of shiny boxes in your little safe haven?”

Now, both Bachiru and Safiyah visibly bristled. Sefu too.

“Yeah, well Captain Ditzy’s got his head in the clouds, but Cadence and Francis are fine minus a few screws loose,” Carl interjected before his eyes became steel. “We ain’t leavin’ any bastard behind unless I say we do.”

Derik sneered.

Ah, too many strong personalities concentrated in one place, it seemed.

“We’ve derailed to arguments for one meeting, don’t you think?” Atienna interjected. “We’ve settled plans already, haven’t we? Should we not get along since we’re the only ones we can rely on at the moment?”

“Right. Sure.” Derik rose to a stand. “See you tonight.”

He departed without saying another word and was followed shortly by Klaus who uttered a goodbye. Carl departed alone after. Eunji and Felix lingered for a while as Eunji and Safiyah seemed to have kindled some sort of familiarity with each other in a short time. Once they left, Safiyah and Bachiru started at it again.

It was rather nostalgic.

Atienna thought of Klaus’s proposal of asking others whom they knew or suspected of becoming integrated into this place. Was there anyone she should ask?

She certainly couldn’t ask Maria to join. Not this Maria at least. This Jericho was also someone Atienna hesitated to ask. The one person she’d truly considered asking was Werner, but he had declined so readily. There was Cadence, of course, and she evidently had some ties with ELPIS since Francis was a member—but she ‘had her own life’ in a sense here. Olive was the only one outside of Werner whom Atienna imagined accepting an invitation from her—not out of earnestly, however, but out of a sense of curiosity and boredom.

As she came out of her thoughts, she realized Safiyah and Bachiru were still sparring with their words. She was rather surprised she hadn’t been asked about who she thought was right by either of them yet. After some consideration, she opted to speak instead of observe and said—

* * *

That evening, Atienna took Kamaria and Kichea to the zoo. Bachiru accompanied them as did Sefu—although Atienna understood Bachiru’s reluctance to allow Sefu to come along. It was because of this same reluctance that Atienna had requested that they spend the night separately. It was only after making that request that Atienna realized that until she arrived at this place, she had not spent a night without someone’s watchful, guardian gaze cast over her. How lucky she was, wasn’t she? Perhaps there was still a gaze cast over her, however. Just not a guardian one.

There were less people around the zoo exhibits at this hour and Atienna appreciated the tranquility that came with the lack of human presence. Kamaria and Kichea had selected the avian section of the zoo to peruse. At the moment, they were standing in front of a caged enclosure dotted with trees and a handful of blackbirds of different species. Sefu and Bachiru were standing a little ways off in front of the information post at a different enclosure.

Atienna tried to imagine what both groups were discussing but had difficulty imagining it exactly.

“You’re not back to work yet?”

Atienna looked to the side. Olive was sitting beside her watching the birds. She looked around. It was just him.

“How am I supposed to be an upstanding Ndotoan when my role model skips out on work?”

“Oh? I’m your role model?” Atienna knew it was most likely a sarcastic remark, but she couldn’t help but feel a bit of warmth at the statement—even though this was not the Olive she knew.

Olive watched the birds fluttering around. “Well, you can’t call Werner much of a role model. Maria’s impossible to role model after, so that’s a no go. Cadence is not the kind of role model I’m looking for. Jericho is…” He frowned a bit. “I’m great, but I also like to set realistic expectations for myself.”

“What about your parents?”

Olive frowned slightly as he looked away from the birds. “What about them?”

Instead of pursuing the topic, Atienna inquired, “Where are your friends?”

Olive shrugged. “I like some time to think to myself.”

“Oh? Am I intruding then?”

“Nope. I actually wanted to ask about the thing you’ve got going on tonight, so I guess the universe is telling me something since I met you here.”

Atienna paused. How did he know?

“Werner told me that Mr. Stein and you all invited him out to something earlier today,” Olive said. “I want in. I’m actually pretty insulted you didn’t ask me since you asked Werner.”

Oh, but she had considered it. However… 

“I don’t think—”

“You’re going with a bunch of VNWs, aren’t you?” Olive interjected as a shadow from a passing bird cast half his face in darkness. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have one or two non-VNWs tagging along to help keep you out of trouble?”

* * *

The subways in Ndoto had a bit of an eerie quality to them at night. There were far fewer people riding at night as compared to the earlier hours of the day. The quietness resulting from their absence accentuated the odd metallic clangs and rattles that echoed out from somewhere deeper in the subway tunnels. 

Atienna had arrived a few minutes prior to their designated meeting time and place—a subway station in the Harvest District—alongside Bachiru only to find that Derik and Klaus had been waiting there for fifteen minutes already. Surprisingly, Derik had abandoned his old stained tie and blouse for a blue and yellow checkerboarded blouse with a pointed collar. Klaus looked just as he had that morning.

Safiyah and Sefu had arrived shortly after with Safiyah making a remark about Derik’s new outfit.

“Yeah, what of it?” Derik had grunted. “I feel more like myself when I’m clean.”

Carl came next, though his greeting was only a grunt. Eunji and Felix were the last to arrive, although the reason for their late arrival was easy to deduce: they were accompanied by Olive, Claire, and Lavi. Sefu visibly tensed at this and kept eyeing Atienna.

“Mr. Stein!” Claire threw his hands up in the air as he noticed Derik. “You’re a wanted man!” 

Klaus flinched and looked around.

Derik frowned at Claire and then stared down Olive who stood beside him. 

Olive arched a brow at him and said, “Don’t worry, Mr. Stein. We won’t turn you in.” He waved at Safiyah. 

Safiyah frowned. “What are you doing here…?”

Ah, so they were familiar with each other, Atienna realized. She should have expected as such since they were connected through the Wibele, but something about Safiyah and Olive intermingling both relaxed and unnerved Atienna. Rather, it made her feel a sense of comfort and discomfort. She realized now that that was the reason for her alarm when she learned of Bachiru’s involvement with ELPIS—rather, his involvement with Jericho. And perhaps it paralleled her feeling towards Werner and Safiyah’s familiarity. Two of her precious worlds were colliding.

“I heard about your whole thing from Werner. It sounded interesting and I have nothing to do today, so why not?” Olive thumbed Claire, Lavi, Eunji, and Felix. “They wanted to come too.”

Eunji offered a tight smile, almost apologetic. 

“You guys are just going for the ELPIS protest, right?” Olive asked innocently. “Nothing else suspicious? I don’t see why we can’t come if that’s the case.”

* * *

They boarded the subway and sat in separate small groups around their compartment. There was Klaus and Derik; Eunji, Felix, Claire, Lavi, and Olive; Carl alone; and Bachiru, Sefu, Safiyah, and Atienna herself. Although Klaus looked as if he wanted to sit by Atienna, it was only Olive who traversed around the compartment and chattered with the separate groups.

Atienna wondered if the Olive she was more familiar with would have been similarly outgoing if that day hadn’t happened. 

Eventually, the subway pulled them into a nondescript station. They exited and made their way up out of the tunnel system and onto a rather empty street dotted with dull buildings. Temporary housing, if Atienna recalled correctly. 

Just as they were about to depart from the area, Atienna felt something tickle her throat and she quickly excused herself into a private bathroom at the station. She locked the door swiftly behind her and made her way over to the grimy bathroom mirror where she proceeded to hack out something into the sink. A whole flower bud. Six petals. Somewhere in-between red and purple in color. 

Fritillaria camschatcensis.

A two-sided meaning. 

Love. Curse.

Atienna took in a shaky breath which just caused her throat to become even more irritated. She coughed and hacked again, sending ten more flowers spiraling into the basin. Pink, red, orange, blue, purple.

Atienna’s heart hammered in her chest as she gingerly picked up a flower and held it up. A white, feathery plant. She knew what it was immediately. Habenaria radiata. A white egret flower. Meaning—

Purity, delicateness, and…. ‘I’ll be thinking of you even in my dreams.’ 

Why did it feel so real in her palm? Why was there meaning in everything—including this flower—in this place? Why was this happening?  Why did Lita whisper those three words to her back in Maria’s office? Why did Sefu know she was not that alleged doppelganger? Why did Ferris and Agape look at her like that? Why did Bachiru, Sefu, and Safiyah meet her before? Why was ‘she’ here before? Why did  Why did Ndoto feel real? Why did it not feel real?

And why wasn’t she trying harder? 

Atienna looked past the flower in her hand towards the mirror.

Her reflection looked odd. Strange. Distorted. She recalled Werner and Cadence mentioning their reflections seeming ‘off’ to them when they all first started synchronizing. She had faint recollections of their feelings of unsettledness, and the fact that what she was feeling in this moment was adjacent but parallel to that feeling—never converging, only similar—

Her reflection smiled. 

Atienna’s eyes widened.

Why are you such a passive, reactive person?

Why are you acting like you care?

Why have you stayed the same here and there?

Why do you think you’re ‘YOU’?

Why are you still not satisfied?

Letting out a cry, Atienna slammed her first into the mirror. Shards petaled around her fist and fell into the now empty sink along with drops of red. 

Atienna ran the water and rinsed off some of the small shards that had embedded on the surface of her hand. She tore some fabric from the lower part of her shirt and quickly, snuggly wrapped it around her fingers. After some consideration, she carefully removed the shards from the sink and tossed them into the trash bin in the corner of the room.

Letting out a controlled breath, she cast a glance at the empty mirror frame above the sink and exited the bathroom—

“Are you going to pay for that?” Claire was leaning against the wall beside her with arms crossed. “Sounds like something broke in there.”

“Oh, I’m sorry you heard that. There was a mirror in there—it was more fragile than I thought,” Atienna said, lied calmly. “I noticed it was a bit loose, so I tried to fix it, but it just fell right off. I was thinking of informing someone about it later. Are you waiting for someone here…?”

“Yeah. The others are in the restroom too. You started a trend.” Claire replied. He then said matter-of-factually, “Mirrors aren’t fragile. It’s the material they’re made out of that makes them fragile.” He put a hand on his hip. “You know, most things that you think need adjusting don’t actually need adjusting. You just end up ruining it by adjusting it so much.”

Atienna regarded him for a moment before she smiled. “It sounds like I should have left the mirror adjustments to the mirror expert.”

“Not a mirror expert. I just pay attention in physics and literature class,” Claire replied. “By the way, what’s your plan?”

Her plan?

“I get the feeling that most of the people in your adult group party want to leave Ndoto,” Claire said. “You know, you guys can talk to guidance officers about that so you don’t go off-the-walls. But you don’t seem really into that. What’s your plan?”

Atienna did not get the ominous feeling at the pit of her stomach that she’d been expecting. So, she studied him curiously. 

“What makes them think the gate is what’s keeping them here?” Claire asked. He sounded genuinely curious.  “There’s actually a handful of people who’ve got a thing or two to say about Ndoto. Trust me, I know. I hear my classmates parroting what their parents say all the time.” 

“Oh, I didn’t know that.”

Interesting, but it should have been expected. You couldn’t satisfy everyone. 

“If those residents wanted to, I’m sure they could all band together and form a human ladder to climb over the gate and leave.” Claire kicked up a foot. “But they don’t. If you busted open the gates for them, they probably wouldn’t try to leave either.”

“I see…”

“Probably because they’re comfortable where they are.” Claire stared at the opposite wall which hosted a rather ugly painting of a flower. “So, it’s just easier to complain about it then cross that line. Just a cycle of complaints. Nothing ever comes of it. You know what they say. The only person who can really move you is yourself.”

“You have quite a way with making points,” Atienna noted.

The double-meaning didn’t escape Atienna, though it did make her curious as to what he actually thought about her. It had been clear for a while now that he knew more than he was letting on. And if she wasn’t currently deluding herself about the existence of saint candidates, then…

Wait—

‘Crossing over that line… ?’

‘Cycles of complaints?’

Line.

Cycle.

Return to the tree.

Line.

Cycle.

Return.

Line. Cycle. Return.

Threshold…?

“‘Upturning an ingrained system’ or ‘proving oneself against a discriminatory system’ or ‘rebelling against an all-powerful authority,’” Claire said suddenly. “You know, all the characters in the books our teachers have us reach in class have these sorts of grandiose goals. Makes it easy to write papers on them since their goals are all so flat out, but my teacher says things like that make the character ‘feel more real.’” He snorted. “I don’t know about you, but my goal this morning was just to get up.”

It took a moment for Atienna to pull away from her ruminating and to  digest his words. Ah, this talk about goals again. Life goals.

“Most real people—especially people who live normal lives—don’t have any grandiose goal like that. Sometimes it’s just ‘make enough money to live comfy’ or ‘to see the world’ or just ‘waking up and going about my day’ or ‘make the people around me feel safe and happy.’ I don’t think wanting those simple goals is that bad.” He put a hand to his chin. “I think people think that having a simple goal is boring to read about so that’s why goals are always so big in books. But I think those simple goals can be inspirational.” He glanced at her. “As long as you have one, I mean. ‘Let’s wait and see’ attitudes stink.”

“You have quite a lot to say for someone your age,” Atienna noted.

Claire stared at her for a moment and smiled. “Why, thank you. I have a lot to say because no one usually listens. I mean they listen, but they don’t really listen. I think I’m pretty cut out to be a guidance officer—granted people actually listen to me.”

“Oh? Were you giving advice just now then?”

“No, I was just pointing you in a direction.”

Atienna’s brows rose. “You’re not very subtle, are you?” And if that were the case then Yuseong Claire was—

Claire arched a brow back but remained smiling. “What do you mean by that?”

Someone a few steps away from them cleared their throat and cut the conversation short.

It was Lavi, eyes narrowed, arms crossed. “We’ve been waiting for you forever, Claire. Why are you holding her up for?” She glanced at Atienna. “You and Ollie need to stop messing with people who have VNW.”

Claire removed himself from the wall and stared at Lavi. “Aren’t you doing the same?”

Lavi stared back.

A familiar chill crept up Atienna’s spine and ominous tension built in the pit of her stomach as they stared each other down.

* * *

The rest of the journey to the edge of the Harvest in the Grainery District was rather uneventful. Instead of riding a cab like Atienna’s previous journey to the gate, they walked. The sky was already darkening overhead, and there were only a handful of lamps lighting their path. 

Atienna was certain their group looked rather suspicious walking out in the night like this, and she did wonder if they were breaking any of those KM-level restrictions by doing this. But how much should worrying about these things prevent one from acting, she wondered.

Putting the thought aside, she took the chance to better study the housing of the outer areas of the district. The houses were quite packed together here compared to the houses at the edge of the other district—which was peculiar because most of the houses looked unoccupied. Every so often, Atienna would catch the glimpse of someone peeking out one of the windows there. Sometimes that someone would wave at them.

Small little details here and there.

Soon, the wall of the gates loomed visibly ahead of them. Even sooner, they reached the fence that  separated the housing area from the gate. It was almost pitch black now—the only source of light was a streetlamp meters away. 

“So, where the hell is ELPIS busting down the wall?” Derik broke the silence with a grimace. He whipped to Bachiru. “Well? I’m ready to get the fuck out of here.”

“You’re a real hotheaded bastard, aren’t you?” Carl muttered. “Better than being a bastard who does nothing.” He eyed Bachiru. “What’s goin’ on here?”

Bachiru frowned and checked the sky then his wrist where a watch gleamed. He noticed Safiyah’s stare and he quickly explained as if embarrassed, “The sky here is hard to read.” He eyed his watch again and then frowned. “The protest should have started five minutes ago.”

Olive and Claire exchanged a look and snickered.

Klaus frowned at them apprehensively for a moment as did Eunji albeit more worriedly and hesitantly.

“Well, fuck. We’re late. The protest is over. We’ve missed our fucking chance.”

Safiyah arched a brow. “How is five minutes late and how exactly do you think a protest would be over in five minutes?”

Suddenly, the night brightened behind Derik. The light dimmed a moment after, and as everyone turned in the direction, a loud boom cracked through the darkness and its echo bled out shortly after. A familiar sound.

“Fuck. We’re at the wrong place.” Derik whipped to Olive. “Hey, brat, wait here.”

 Without saying anything else, Derik started off towards the direction of the sound. Klaus followed shortly after him. For once, Atienna was not the last to follow after and quickly paced after the men. She could hear some of the others following behind her.

They ran along the fence with the others before they reached a temporary house that was billowing with smoke. There was shouting coming from the window of that building facing the alleyway. Equally loud shouting emanated from the window of the building opposite. 

Cancerian? Aquarian? Capricornian? Common? It was difficult to distinguish anything amongst all the shouting. 

A head poked out from one of the windows. And a head from the opposite window. Both figures, Atienna realized, were dressed in uniforms of some kind. Faded purple on the right, pale blue on the left. Those uniforms—they were strikingly familiar. 

“They’re Capricornians,” Klaus whispered, a confused sort of relief wavering in his voice.  “And those ones! They’re Aquarian. They’re—” 

Another figure emerged from the window on the right. Although their features were obscured by all the smoke, the symbol on their white glowing sash was unmistakable.

An Ophiuchian peacekeeper.